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Less Stress, More Joy This Holiday Season (With Ashlee Eiland) - Janet Lansbury
Does the holiday season really need to be so overwhelming? Janet admits she gets caught up in the bustle and excitement of holiday festivities. While her intention every year is to pare down to make more room for meaningful moments with her loved ones, she still finds herself shopping until the last minute for the … Continued
My Life With Adult Kids - Janet Lansbury
Does respectful parenting work? How does it look as our kids get older and more independent? Does our approach to relationship building change and if so, how? Will our early efforts pay off? In response to a listener’s questions, Janet discusses the challenges, rewards, and surprises she’s experiencing as her three babies have become adults. … Continued
When Kids Don't Seem Motivated (to Potty, Crawl, or Create) - Janet Lansbury
What do we do if we know our kids can practice a new skill, and yet they don’t or won’t? Three families reach out to Janet with concerns about their children’s developmental progress. In one case, a 12-month-old doesn’t seem interested in crawling, and the parent has been advised to try to make this happen. A second … Continued
Kids Don't Need Intensive Parenting (and Neither do We!) - Janet Lansbury
The US Surgeon General warns that parents today are feeling increasingly stressed and burnt out. Obviously, this is unhealthy for us and for our children. Several societal factors are thought to contribute to this issue. The good news is that one of them is in our power to control: Intensive Parenting. Sociologists describe intensive parenting … Continued
Is Disrespect a Tantrum in Disguise? - Janet Lansbury
A 7-year-old has been behaving rudely toward his parents by giving them “attitude” and resisting when they give him directions. He says rebellious things, reacts strongly to minor disappointments, and even gets physically aggressive. The mom writes: “I feel at a loss for how to correct this perceived defiance…We’re at a new low for us. … Continued
What’s Too Strict? What’s Not Strict Enough? - Janet Lansbury
Parenting is a tough job and, if you’re like many of us, navigating effective discipline is the most challenging part of it. We need clarity! For this reason, many have appreciated Janet’s recent episode: “Strict is Loving”. You’ve also had questions—lots of questions—in regard to walking (what can seem to be) the fine line between … Continued
Character Building Lessons You Want Your Kids to Learn - Janet Lansbury
Progress not perfection… Be thankful for what you have… It’s okay not to win… Embrace differences… Follow your own path… It’s okay to cry… We all have life lessons that we hope to instill in our kids. Many of you shared yours with Janet on Facebook recently. What are the most effective ways to teach these lessons? As with … Continued
Triggered Again: Understanding Our Reactions to Kids' Behaviors (With Elisabeth Corey) - Janet Lansbury
Trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey returns to ‘Unruffled’ to share healing insights she’s gained from her intense struggles as a parent of twins. The emotional reactions our kids stir up in us can take us by surprise. Worse, they can keep us feeling stuck repeating dynamics with our kids that seem to be driving us apart. … Continued
Strict is Loving - Janet Lansbury
Janet’s “all feelings allowed” approach to parenting is sometimes misconstrued as permissive, passive, lax on boundaries. But as Janet clarifies in this episode, the exact opposite is true! She describes how acquiescing to our kids’ whims and demands, giving them multiple chances to comply with our directions, or making it our job to console them … Continued
Am I Ruining My Child With Respectful Parenting? (A Parent Consultation) - Janet Lansbury
A mom fears that her gentle, respectful approach to her toddler’s feelings and behaviors is too permissive and isn’t teaching her to treat others with kindness and respect. She says she’s been following Janet’s approach from the beginning, but when her daughter kicks and screams and generally melts down, she can’t help but question if simply … Continued
Everything Upsets My Spirited Toddler (A Parent Consultation) - Janet Lansbury
Janet consults with a single mom who is alarmed by her toddler’s strong reactions and aggressive behavior. She seems easily and almost constantly upset—hits, pushes, and bites her mother and brother—and won’t be consoled. “When she is crying for a little while because of me taking something away, I console her and say, ‘I know … Continued
3 Ways to Calm Back-to-School Jitters - Janet Lansbury
Starting a new school, going back to school, or starting daycare is one of the most challenging transitions for our kids—and us—at this early stage of their lives. It means a new routine, new caregivers and friends, and many unknowns. It’s normal for both parent and child to feel some trepidation, and it’s rare that … Continued
Baffled by "Bad" Behavior? Do This First - Janet Lansbury
When our kids’ behavior seems negative or inappropriate, we know we should disallow it. But what if the behavior continues? Or goes from bad to worse? What is our child needing from us or telling us that we’re missing? There’s often a simple, yet easy to overlook, answer. In this episode, Janet responds to notes from … Continued
Help Kids Realize Their Potential With the Power of Less (With Kim John Payne) - Janet Lansbury
When we’re concerned about our kids’ behavior, their stress and difficult moods, a lack of motivation, or an overall sense that we’re not in harmony with them — the solution almost certainly comes down to “less.” In this episode, Janet is joined by Kim John Payne, M.ED., renowned family consultant, lecturer, and author of the … Continued
The Scoop on Independent Play (And Myths That Get in the Way) - Janet Lansbury
Children are innately driven to play, and the benefits are enormous. They’re also driven to seek our attention and connection, so how can we encourage our kids’ play without becoming their constant playmate? In this episode Janet dispels seven common misunderstandings that make the lifelong habit (and gift) of self-directed play much more challenging to foster. … Continued
Surviving a Storm of Emotions - Janet Lansbury
Our child’s uncomfortable feelings can manifest in many ways, the most obvious being tantrums, meltdowns, or long lasting monsoonal crying jags. Often, those feelings are expressed in behaviors, sometimes aggressive. The two emails Janet addresses in this episode come from parents whose kids’ rocky moods and behaviors are persistent, no matter how much patience, love, … Continued
Potty Learning: What Kids Need From Us - Janet Lansbury
Potty training is always an adventure, and it can be a confusing, sometimes frustrating experience. There are countless books on the subject, and there’s plenty of advice from both experts and well-meaning friends and family. Since every child’s process is unique to them and depends on so many internal and external influences, it’s difficult to … Continued
Angry Flare-Ups - And He’s Only One Year Old (A Parent Consultation) - Janet Lansbury
A parent consults with Janet about her one-year-old who screams, cries, “loses it anytime he’s picked up and moved to do something else or is told he can’t go somewhere.” She’s concerned that it’s too early for this type of behavior, wonders how to respond and if she’s doing something wrong. Janet shares her perspective and … Continued
Family Games Your Kids Will Love - Janet Lansbury
Does your family have any extra downtime this summer? This may be the perfect time to introduce your kids to some simple, giggle-inducing, creative games to play anytime and almost anywhere. I have ideas for you! These are games my kids begged me to play over and over again that would never fail to crack … Continued
Whining - Janet Lansbury
A whining child can show relentless persistence and stamina, can wear away at our will to hold our ground, and maintain our boundaries and temper. We may lose confidence and second guess ourselves: Am I doing something wrong? Am I being too rigid? Maybe I can put off my shower for an hour and play … Continued
How to Make Peace With Your Demanding Child - Janet Lansbury
A parent worries her 3-year-old needs more connection, but the attention that she and her partner give him never seems to be enough, even when they make themselves available for play. He demands they play a certain way, sometimes refuses to participate, throws his toys and has tantrums when they try to hold their ground. … Continued
Parenting Differently Wired Kids (with Debbie Reber) - Janet Lansbury
Tilt Parenting founder Debbie Reber joins Janet to discuss the unique challenges families face as they learn to understand and support a child with ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, giftedness, processing challenges, twice-exceptionality, or other neurodifferences. While Debbie’s advice is especially powerful for parents of neurodivergent kids, her insights will resonate with every parent. As she says, “None … Continued
Raising Kids Who Persist Through Struggles - Janet Lansbury
We all want our kids to proceed through life with confidence as they develop physically, mentally, and emotionally. Because we care so much, it can be difficult for us to watch them struggle when faced with a challenge or a new skill. It’s especially tough to see them becoming so frustrated that they give up … Continued
Frustration, Screaming, Aggressive Behavior – When Kids Aren’t Functioning Well - Janet Lansbury
Our kids’ behavior can be mystifying, aggravating, worrying, and sometimes even infuriating. While the answers for resolving our concerns tend to be specific and unique to each particular situation, there are also general themes that can guide us. Janet explores one such theme in this week’s episode and explains how it applies to 3 different … Continued
7 Tools to Empower Your Parenting - Janet Lansbury
We all experience difficult moments with our kids, and it’s not uncommon for us to lose confidence in ourselves or feel stuck. Need a parenting boost? In this special episode, Janet shares 7 of her go-to parenting power tools, mindsets, and mantras geared to help you focus your energies most effectively and (if needed) make positive, … Continued
Feeling Unloved, Rejected, Worried About Your Relationship with Your Child? Try This... - Janet Lansbury
Janet shares a success story from a parent who describes her shame, heartbreak, “the heavy emotional load” she carried for the first 4 years of her son’s life as he vehemently rejected her care, preferring his father. After reading one of Janet’s articles, this mom began to see her son’s behavior in a whole new … Continued
Parenting Expectations Have Changed - Kids Haven't (with Maggie Dent) - Janet Lansbury
If you’re the parent of young children, there’s a good chance you are very hard on yourself. Australian parenting guru Maggie Dent joins Janet in this episode to discuss the unprecedented pressures and challenges today’s parents face living up to ever-changing standards set by social media, peers, and even schools. Parents are often left feeling … Continued
My Child Refuses Independent Play - Janet Lansbury
With our most loving intentions as parents, we might find ourselves stuck in a full-time role we never wanted—as our child’s playmate and entertainer. In this episode, a mom asks Janet for advice regarding her “bright, busy, extroverted four-year-old girl who loves having my complete attention.” Unfortunately, this parent is feeling she really needs some … Continued
As Our Kids Get Older - 5 Ways to Continue Building Lasting Emotional Bonds - Janet Lansbury
What does respectful parenting look like as our kids get older? Where can we get advice similar to Janet’s but for older kids? Janet receives these kinds of questions often and takes the opportunity to answer them in this episode. Transcript of “As Our Kids Get Older – 5 Ways to Continue Building Lasting Emotional … Continued
The Magic That Makes Kids Want to Cooperate - Janet Lansbury
As parents, we all experience moments when our kids just won’t go with the program – brushing their teeth, dressing for school, cleaning up their toys, going to bed (and staying there). We ask nicely, and they ignore us. Then we ask not so nicely, and they dig their heals in. Before long we’re frustration … Continued
Dr. Gabor Maté on Why Parents Matter More Than Ever - Janet Lansbury
Physician and author Gabor Maté joins Janet to discuss the importance of developing secure attachments with our kids and why it’s crucial for us to continue nurturing these bonds into their adulthood. How do we remain our children’s most trusted influences while also encouraging their natural drive toward individuation? Can we maintain our role as … Continued
When Kids Hide Their Feelings and Reject Our Comfort - Janet Lansbury
We’re trying to be there for our kids, let them know we care, and give them positive, healthy messages about their feelings. What could possibly go wrong? In this episode, Janet responds to a parent who worries that when she tries to comfort her upset 3-year-old daughter, the child seems ashamed about her feelings, even … Continued
Praise That Encourages Intrinsic Motivation - Janet Lansbury
We can be our kids’ greatest fans, and they need us to be. How do we praise them in a manner that truly encourages them? We may have heard that “good job!” or “you’re so smart!” aren’t the ticket. In this episode, Janet shares her specific suggestions and a simple way we can find clarity … Continued
Should We Resort to Using Force? - Janet Lansbury
Janet consults with a couple who feel at odds with their 4-year-old at bedtime. “She stalls, refuses or delays putting on her pajamas, brushing her teeth, getting in bed, and staying in bed.” She’s also uncooperative in the mornings. The parents have conflicting ideas about how they should handle her behavior and hope Janet can … Continued
Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Other Intense Outbursts: My #1 Secret for Staying Calm - Janet Lansbury
How do we stay unruffled when our children are anything but? It’s never easy, but in this episode Janet shares the personal mindset that has helped her most, and gets SO much easier with practice. She also shares a success story from a parent who is walking through her own fears to be the parent … Continued
We Don't Like Upsetting Our Kids - Janet Lansbury
Do you sometimes say “yes” to avoid your child’s negative reaction? You’re definitely not alone! None of us wants to upset our kids, and when faced with that option, we tend to second guess our boundaries: Should I keep playing this game even though I’m busy, tired, or not in the mood? This week, Janet explores … Continued
Toddlers That Won't Go to Bed (Solutions from Eileen Henry) - Janet Lansbury
Do you sometimes say “yes” to avoid your child’s negative reaction? You’re definitely not alone! None of us wants to upset our kids, and when faced with that option, we tend to second guess our boundaries: Should I keep playing this game even though I’m busy, tired, or not in the mood? This week, Janet explores the … Continued
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids Means Letting Them Grieve - Janet Lansbury
Most of us wouldn’t consider it part of our job to allow the small children in our care to grieve. And yet, our lives are filled with losses—some are significant, most are minor. The way we process feelings of loss can have profound, lasting effects on our mental health and overall quality of life. In … Continued
Coping with Your Child’s Possessiveness - Janet Lansbury
“Mine! No, he can’t touch that!” Does this sound familiar? No worries. In their early years, children commonly go through phases of possessiveness that can seem totally unreasonable and extreme. They may want everything their sibling or peer shows interest in and try to take it. They refuse to share. In this episode, Janet explains why this … Continued
How an Angry Mom, Hating Parenting, Found "Immediate Success" - Janet Lansbury
A parent writes that with her firstborn, she had listened to Janet’s advice and used many of her parenting methods with great success. To her surprise and relief, motherhood was relatively easy, and “I had friends comment how amazing I was as a mother.” After the births of her second and third child, however, things deteriorated. … Continued