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Family is Forever - My Life with T
Eight years ago today, we got a call from Children’s Aid Society. We were matched with a child! It was a Thursday evening and the hubby and I were shocked, because it had been seven years since we had started the adoption journey. We had given up hope we would be parents. They shared T’sContinue reading "Family is Forever"
Sinking Ships, Rising Hearts - My Life with T
The heart does go on and on. T’s latest obsession is the Titanic, quite the step up from Paw Patrol! This was likely inspired from YouTube, as he spends lots of time watching videos about the Titanic and other famous shipwrecks. He loves to draw pictures and pretend play with great imagination about the doomedContinue reading "Sinking Ships, Rising Hearts"
Nature is Healing for Neurodiverse Kids - My Life with T
A beautiful sunny t-shirt weather Spring Sunday gave T and I the recharge we needed. After breakfast, we practiced reading two chapters in his latest book then headed to one of our favourite nature spots: Rouge Park. I feel blessed for this urban oasis near our home. I appreciate the government recently adding a boardwalkContinue reading "Nature is Healing for Neurodiverse Kids"
Open to Feedback - My Life with T
Being able to receive and apply feedback, as hard as it can be to hear sometimes, is key to growth. In February, halfway past the Grade 3 school year, the hubby and I had our teacher conference with T’s teacher, CYW and the school’s special education coordinator. We discussed T’s areas for improvement: reading, writingContinue reading "Open to Feedback"
Turbulence - My Life with T
An overzealous adult crossed the line with our neurodiverse son and awoke the Papa Bear in me. While waiting at the airport for our early morning flight home after our March Break trip a few weeks ago, T was disregulated. He didn’t get a lot of sleep and he was short tempered, hyperactive and mouthy.Continue reading "Turbulence"
Down into the Depths - My Life with T
In your lowest moments, you find yourself again. We enjoyed a cave exploration excursion during our March Break family trip to Mexico. Our first activity was to rappel down 7 storeys into a small cave. T went first. As he was lowered by the guide, down a small hole that quickly opened widely, he saidContinue reading "Down into the Depths"
Surga - My Life with T
After a cloudy few months, we’re spending March Break at a place of happiness. We booked this family getaway last October, before I knew one of my closest friends would lose her brave battle with cancer in November. Never would I have guessed Ma would pass away a few weeks later. For better or worse,Continue reading "Surga"
Celebration of Life - My Life with T
On Saturday, surrounded by family and friends, near and far, we said goodbye to Ma. It was celebration and catharsis. I am thankful for the last few weeks to reflect and to remember what an inspiring life Ma lived, full of love and accomplishments. Loved ones from afar, including Philippines and Guam, joined the serviceContinue reading "Celebration of Life"
Angels in the Infield - My Life with T
During school lunch a few weeks ago, T proclaimed to his class he was refunding his parents. His CYW recounted to us with amusement, via text message, that T ranted out loud that he had told Daddy (the hubby) many times that he didn’t want meatballs for lunch and still got them. Due to thisContinue reading "Angels in the Infield"
Finding Connections - My Life with T
As social creatures, we yearn for connection and we thrive when we have psychological safety. This was the key takeaway from a virtual talk by FASD expert Nate Sheets I attended during a recent caregivers group get-together. I’ve followed Nate’s work for a while but it was my first time attending a live talk andContinue reading "Finding Connections"
The Darkest Dark - My Life with T
We remind our little guy that he is stronger and braver than the monsters in his head. During a recent Sunday morning, around 1:30, I was woken up by the hubby having a fit. T had turned on all the lights in the house, downstairs included, and was up playing with his toys – becauseContinue reading "The Darkest Dark"
Life is a Gift - My Life with T
Live and love as if it’s your first and last day on Earth. Our caring, curious, funny and not-so-little guy turned 9 this weekend. How is that possible?! The past year brought adventures and hard losses and through it all, he steps forward with his fun-seeking, resilient and endlessly energetic spirit. Our consecutive hard lossesContinue reading "Life is a Gift"
A Thousand Words - My Life with T
Sometimes, a picture sums up life’s depth of emotions better than words ever could. Yesterday, we had lunch with family to celebrate Ma and my aunt’s birthdays. Ma’s absence was noticeable. Afterwards, my uncle, recently returned from the Philippines, gave me Ma’s urn. It was a strange feeling holding it in my hands. The logicalContinue reading "A Thousand Words"
Ray of Light - My Life with T
We took T to his first concert, Madonna’s Celebration Tour, and it provided a needed holiday. Our family had a challenging start to 2024 and this show was a ray of light during gray days. We prepped T for his first concert by looking at photos of the venue and show and speaking about whatContinue reading "Ray of Light"
Personal Affection Day - My Life with T
On Friday, T asked to stay home instead of going to daycare for PA Day. “I just need a break,” he said. On Professional Activity (PA) Days, kids get a day off school and teachers focus on professional learning. My first instinct to T’s request was no. The hubby and I had work, remotely atContinue reading "Personal Affection Day"
The Oldest Chinatown in the World - My Life with T
I recently visited my childhood neighbourhood in the Philippines, 35 years after moving away. Over the holidays, I unexpectedly flew to Manila after Ma fell ill and with a very sad outcome. After Ma was admitted to ICU, I could no longer visit her. So, with thanks to uncles, I visited Binondo, the neighbourhood myContinue reading "The Oldest Chinatown in the World"
Fighting Spirit - My Life with T
Grit, resilience and work ethic are wonderful lessons I learned from Ma. I thought about times she demonstrated them during my recent unexpected visit to the Philippines, as she battled for her life. At 15, she left her home in the province to move to the city in Manila to attend university – working tutoringContinue reading "Fighting Spirit"
Far From Home - My Life with T
During the holidays, I unexpectedly flew to the other side of the world to visit my ailing Ma. Ma moved back to the Philippines in July. In early December, her myositis autoimmune disease, which attacks and weakens her leg muscles, resurfaced and a few days before Christmas, she had a fall at home. On ChristmasContinue reading "Far From Home"
The Gift of the Redo - My Life with T
Christmas is a time for forgiveness and it is the kindest gift one could give and receive. When we were having rough patches this fall with T – a part of the FASD parenting life – we met with our developmental pediatrician, who has been supporting T since he was 18 months. In addition toContinue reading "The Gift of the Redo"
“I Believe in the Power of You and I” - My Life with T
We attended T’s wonderful school holiday concert this week and it moved me to tears. The school concert was the first since the pandemic, and T and the kids did such a great job. It brought back wonderful memories of holiday and Spring concerts, pre pandemic, when T was in preschool and kindergarten. I rememberContinue reading "“I Believe in the Power of You and I”"
In the Dog House - My Life with T
In my next life, I want to be a therapy dog. I took part of Friday off to take T to a PA Day paw therapy program hosted by the amazing Surrey Place team as part of their ongoing services for children with FASD and caregivers. T and I loved the horse therapy program theyContinue reading "In the Dog House"
The Writing Parlour - My Life with T
Helping my third grader build writing skills is like making pizza; layer one ingredient on at a time. The process sometimes feels like a struggle with a disability like FASD layered on top – but it nonetheless feels like I’m watching something special grow from infancy. It brings back fond memories of the early days,Continue reading "The Writing Parlour"
Why Stories Matter - My Life with T
Stories and personal testimony can inform, inspire and be a lifeline to someone. December 1 marks the fourth anniversary of this blog and my first post, introducing T’s prognosis and our family. I started my blog as a way to process my thoughts on the FASD parenting journey and to raise awareness and advocate forContinue reading "Why Stories Matter"
Big Brother - My Life with T
This is the start of a beautiful friendship. Last fall, T’s child and youth worker made the excellent suggestion to look into a Big Brother-style mentorship program for T. I believe in mentorship and surrounding T with positive influences is important, because making friends is hard for kids with FASD. Despite best efforts, we haveContinue reading "Big Brother"
No Day But Today - My Life with T
We said goodbye to a lifelong friend this weekend and I am reminded to never hesitate to live, love and laugh. The universe works in wonderful ways, connecting people in seemingly coincidental ways. In Grade 7 English class, I first became friends with Jenny because we randomly sat together in Mrs Piazza’s English class withContinue reading "No Day But Today"
Love and Karma - My Life with T
The energy we send into the universe is the energy we invite into our lives. I found this belief challenged the past few weeks, because of T’s chaos – meltdowns, foul language, rude attitude, defiant behaviour at school. It was draining – and at one point, I told the hubby I did not have theContinue reading "Love and Karma"
Smells Like Teen Spirit - My Life with T
A creature is growing in our home that is more horrifying than the supernatural or undead. Saturday morning, I was enjoying coffee in the dining room when I heard the hubby say with alarm, “Oh my God, T, you’re turning.” It was a full moon on Halloween weekend. Did we have a werewolf in ourContinue reading "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
To Teachers with Love - My Life with T
The influence of a great teacher is longlasting. Thanks to Mrs Smith in Grade 3, who introduced us to daily journal writing, I developed an early start to expressing myself through words. Tough but fair and kind teachers, like Mrs Ezer in high school, were whom I learned the most from. I keep it touchContinue reading "To Teachers with Love"
Enjoy the Silence - My Life with T
I’m going to tell you a secret: It’s ok to say no, to put your needs first, to self indulge. It’s become a morbid joke that when I plan self care time, something bad happens. Christmas 2019: T got sick for a week. Christmas 2020: Ma had a nearly life-ending stroke on the first dayContinue reading "Enjoy the Silence"
Horsing Around - My Life With T
The best things in life are not free. Thanksgiving a year ago vs today, the dinner table is cozier and I am reminded how life flies by. Friday was a PA Day and I took T to a fun and free activity organized by Surrey Place, the amazing organization that has supported our family sinceContinue reading "Horsing Around"
Uplift through Testimony - My Life With T
There is power and purpose in sharing stories. One voice can join a chorus to make a difference. This week, I joined a director from the Surrey Place to make a deputation to our school board, the largest school board in Canada and one of the largest in North America. Our goal was to raiseContinue reading "Uplift through Testimony"
Cooking for the Soul: A Second Helping - My Life With T
In Chinese culture, we eat noodles during birthdays as it symbolizes long life. When I watch T have instant noodles or spaghetti, two of the handful of things our selective eater will have, I joke it’s my life force he’s slurping away. I often write about the importance of self care in the marathon journeyContinue reading "Cooking for the Soul: A Second Helping"
The Power of Yet – My Life With T
T asked the lifeguard if he could try the deep end test. It was his first-ever attempt. Would he make it? I thought about this recent outing at the community pool, as it’s goal-setting time for the school year. This year, I love how T’s teacher included the kids in the process, using the Power…
Fried Spam with Rice – My Life With T
Like many immigrant kids, I’ve experienced many “smelly weird” school lunches packed by Pa. But I loved them all and the one I looked forward to most was fried spam on a warm bed of rice. I would inhale the luncheon meat, its greasy goodness soaked up by the rice. This weekend is Pa’s death…
Tree of Life – My Life With T
There is a special tree, that sways to the side like a painting, that serves as a route marker of time. Killbear is special because it is the first place we camped together at as a family. It is the first family vacation we took during the pandemic and we were so excited to get…
Community Rocks – My Life With T
As the sun descended over Georgian Bay, crowds started gathering on the rocks by the water. It was our second night of camping at beautiful Killbear and we were enjoying an after dinner walk to soak in our final evening. Sitting by the rocks to watch the sunset is a tradition and I love how…
Shooting Stars – My Life With T
Night hikes are a camping tradition and when darkness fell, we excitedly set off for the rocks. After our spontaneous sunset swim and jumping off beautiful rocks at Killbear, we roasted marshmallows and made s’mores at our campsite. T was now sugared up on s’mores and a watermelon slush from dinner. He was bouncing off…
Leap of Faith – My Life With T
We were racing against sunset as we hiked up the rocky hill to get to the cliffs to jump into the bay. It was our first day camping at Killbear and we had just finished dinner. We had decided we would do cliff jumping the following day, but T was insistent, so the hubby and…
Our Budding Influencer – My Life With T
“Hi guys,” T says sweetly and excitedly to his phone, on video record mode, to his imaginary followers. He goes on to narrate what he’s doing, emulating the online influencers and livestreamers he enjoys watching, like Ethan Gamer. It appears we have a budding influencer. T started doing this at his grandparents’ cottage during our…
Catch and Release – My Life With T
Kids catching lobster washed up on the beach gave me a good reminder about abundance of gratitude. On the second morning of our recent visit to T’s grandparents’ cottage, we went for a walk by the beach, an activity T enjoyed several times a day. We stumbled upon three boys carrying buckets and excitedly catching…