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Things were getting better until it became unclear if I’m sick or not offensive or not or who hurt who I think I did my best got hurt things got better given chances court was going well supported and encouraged by many will continue to accept losing badly when fought, or looking bad compared to […]
It’s not okay to live life offensive it’s not okay to suffer from voices or terms be honest or be punished for it and demand scientific analysis and solution you’ve determined on your own and have done your best to solve. It’s not okay to live life offending anyone or viewed as insult or stupid […]
The lesson about being fought, is that you get sick, there is no way around it. If someone connects to you, and doesn’t like you, is angry at you, or cannot be happy for you, then you are going to get sick, by that person connecting to you, watching you, reading you, or seeking to […]
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to describe a battle with voices, without anyone losing or becoming upset, however created, and to me it’s a sensitive subject based on how or why hurtful terms are used, and doing my best to figure out the triggers and causes for the use of hurtful terms, […]
So much has happened since I last wrote, I started a new job, survived my first day of work, and working through mental health issues texting my therapist, and writing letters, or emails until things have finally gotten better by today and so thankful. I know discussing voices is a very controversial subject and requires […]
Due to worsening symptoms I’ve started to send comment replies to who made the fan site and have decided to discontinue contact with everyone including informed the Marina del Rey Sheriff of my worsening condition due to voices or dislike toward content or how I’ve addressed being hurt or protected others from harm not fought […]
What exists is how you make people feel. There’s no science about going by your own feelings and thoughts in life however you are persuaded. A common defense to mental illness and crisis is then associated to no one suffering from unknown causes of blogging is considered a safe shared space to prevent harms from […]
I get that as a reader of my blog, there is an expectation for quotes, wisdom, articles, self-help, mental health subjects, and a sense of hope of things working out or going to be okay. That being said, it’s hard to address crisis, or emergencies on the blog, in a way that doesn’t cause worry […]
Normal to me, feels like a calm, you feel motivated to do things that day, you are at rest, able to sleep and gather your thoughts, feeling positive in a good mood like things are going to turn out today okay, and having a sense of clarity that distinguishes a normalcy that you feel meaning […]
I’ve been blogging for 6 years continuous now, and have built two blogs, and for the first time in my life, I have been presented with problems in life, so severe, and so serious, that no investigator, report, openness, subject, or blog post can solve, and maybe that’s a fact about life, I was lucky […]
The main lesson at a time like this, is to not let anyone affect you. My goal is to do my best and stay positive, and not draw too much attention to this type of argument in life, over who loves who or who is helping who, I have never been anyone to judge or […]
(1) Was not writing consistently everyday. (2) Had difficulty messaging and reflecting on bullying without reliving trauma or fight. (3) A person let back into my life I was told to block not hurting me who believed in me said everything nice supported but didn’t stay well. (4) Sharing is upset or text which I […]
My blood pressure today is low I’m under a lot of stress right now doing my best. I did my best to reconcile with this person however he continues to ask for photos then expose me and I really don’t have the time and energy to fight with this person. I’m not modeling I’m not […]
Instagram Caption: @dcattorneygeneral @realdonaldtrump @potus -I’m sorry if I’m being punished in life not forget all the good years and moments of progress lose on the basis of mental illness or voices or bullying figure out how to live life and stay away from everyone and let God decide whether being called “offensive and inappropriate” […]
I’m reading a book by Melody Beattie called Journey to the Heart. It’s a daily meditation book, I just started reading January 1 to hopefully September, then go day by day. She reminds us to “go on your own journey. Don’t let others hold you back, don’t hold them back. Don’t judge their journey, and […]
I’m writing two books one unpublished I need to rewrite sharing quotes from over the years and life advice hopefully sans court issues I’ve been writing much longer than any legal problems or bullying or voices. It was recommended to talk about schizophrenia and given a list of suggestions for a book that’s already written […]
After 7 months of treatment, and taken off adderrall, I am again battling relapse (alcohol), taken off adderrall for the week, and doing my best to discontinue drinking when things are “too much” and focus on the road ahead and my writing. In the meantime Im going through something personal with an individual who has […]
Why is there no inner circle? Because if I keep getting hurt and keep getting head injuries or mental health issues as a result of being offended online, without repercussion, then there will be no inner circle, based on trying to hurt me, and hurt everyone who loves me and knows me, and pretend to […]
In life, if you ever experience mental health issues, and/or hospitalized, you are just so thankful to get better, that it really is never about where you are or how you are treated, in times of not feeling well, I don’t think you are ever concerned with how things look or how you look, it really should never become an issue. I do think that getting well is a team effort, all things aside, as a person living with disability there will be phases of independence and recovery, and you may encounter periods of graver disability or be put on different medications, the goal is to get well and stay well, whether you are making decisions for yourself or another, there will always be stopping points in life, and it is very much about how people feel about you, whether they trust you, are able to help you, believe you are well, or not satisfied with how you are doing, make medical decisions, anyone is convinced is best for you, without calculating all the repercussions of being offline, or bullied, relapse or getting voices, sudden unemployment, or changes in care, life is a balancing act, that you are very much apart of that team effort to get you well and keep you well. Unfortunately its not always a public discussion or by personal review evident of why and how you are staying well, following all the rules, or in a place that demonstrates that a medication should be taken away. I don’t think I have managed well in close quarters trying to explain to men that I cannot have sex anymore or recently left treatment focusing on my blog and mental health, respected and left alone, its still very much a fight about staying well, being able to share that wellness, make others feel included and recognized for their support, and to continue to stay well and get to places in life mentally, that overall people can take a look around and either feel good and respect you, or take a look around and not feel good, and also decide to not feel good by you, or blame you, and that’s life, its all team effort, that you either stay on board, or you fall off board, and no one can help you if you get sick or don’t know how you end up sick, the challenge is not getting sick when you are treated as sick, and staying well, if you are being told “a higher level of care is needed” its not about reaching levels of wellness that scream recovered and nothing to worry about, its about living with disability and knowing your limits, being supported, getting approved to take meds, attending therapy, and doing you best to abide by what is expected of you, there are no guarantees in life. Not by court, not by lifestyle, money, job, effort, phone call, blog, book, or life experience, I think being hurt or made fun of for your identity and what speaks to you, is just as insulting as it is to be compared to people who are well and strong, or compare my condition to someone who is bullied or suicidal, suddenly judge my disability as being my own fault, that no one wants to be responsible for. I think in many ways you can experience things in life that no one agrees with, no one believes, no one can make sense of, no one can help you with, sometimes there is no solution, but to believe in yourself, and to live life carefully, not take risks, or be judged as someone who takes risks or causes harm to others, I don’t think that court is doing a good job of representing who I am as person, and I think wrongfully accuses me of being responsible for things I can and will prevent and have an identity that Im not changing or don’t like or suddenly fat or depressed and not loved or be accused of fraud wrongfully accuse my photos of being fake when they are not. What no one agrees with is when you sound sick, no one wants to hear about your challenges in life or how you are helpful, if they think youre not feeling good, then you get attacked as though you cause illness, and that’s how wellness is taken away from you, if it requires hurting you and mentally challenging you to push you disabled, then that’s the wrong way to treat me in life, and I don’t deserve to be treated like that dear Judge.
I’ve never not tried to learn tech or apply to coding school someone who has failed to comprehend what privacy is for or questions communications with the government, as all eyes on me, or no eyes on me preferential in order to perform in life and do well. I think life is accessible to anyone more powerful than you, to look at you through your computer camera, to review all the documents in your computer, review all your emails, read all you messages on messenger, I think in many ways, our lives are lived very openly with no privacy, when it comes to tech, anyone can hack your account, read your information, cause you voices, or self-harm, or suicide, by any amount of wrongful exposures in life, and that’s the danger in being blogger and working in tech. How many people need to see your hand in life, or make an assessment of you viewing your private spaces and all your information, to make a medical decision about you, and in the end it will never be enough, the records I keep, the work that I do online, the amount of published posts I have provided to the public over the years, it will never be good enough to someone who doesn’t understand me, doesn’t appreciate me, doesn’t agree with me, doesn’t support me, doesn’t comprehend my struggle, is racist toward me, doesn’t think Im beautiful, doesn’t value my hard work and openness on Instagram, or views celebrities or races as represented causes, you informerly torture me, or question my contributions in life, or sensitivity to issues, names or deaths. I think the best way to comprehend life would be to count the number of days I ran everyday and posted everyday, and count the 95% success rate over a period of 10 years functioning, graduating, helping, building, communicating, and being apart of progress, instead of view me as mentally ill, or not comprehend what medications are for or what it means about me, its nothing about people, its about me and how I feel, how I function, my ability to live life free of harm, feel good, and make progress. Not everyone is afforded those opportunities in life if they are wrongfuly accused of speaking wrong, or lying, or not making sense, or being delusional, or inaccurate, or problematic, in no way is it possible for me to be online, if voices are winning and Trump is being shot and there are school shootings, that goes directly against my purpose in life, my solution, and what all my hard work is for, so instead of questioning difficulty or reasonableness in not writing, respect my privacy and communications and call the Georgia requesting to forward my message recorded to the Judge, means Im doing my part to be reviewed by professionals, and I don’t have to give access or review to voices, reading my conversations, disliking me, hacking my computer or my accounts, refuse to be blamed for a single suicide or death accuse me of being mentally ill or harmful to the health of others, its me that’s human who has overcome tremendous obstacles speaking in spite of being a member to a high profile case and set of names, respectful of everyones attentions and feelings and what they think, am not the disappointment, am not an alcoholic, am not a drug addict, am not inappropriate, I am not mentally ill, I am not being sued, and I am not responding to any voices, during any writing break, refuse to lose in life based on emotions or the number of things said when Im not feeling well, means if I cant win with the people or voices, then I should really question what to do with my life, figure out why am I alive, and do my best to stay away from everyone. That’s hard to comprehend why someone is living a more difficult life compared to others, and view me as not having recovered, or working a hard job to prevent mass shootings, school shootings, and assassination attempts, try to disable me or use my condition as a catalyst for communication to all including the people or use any lawsuit as justification to cause harm to me or wrongfully prosecute me or blame, I reserve the right to sue and press charges against anyone who is using Todd Spitzer to hurt me or sue me in public, I deserve the right to face who is causing me voices, and face who is accusing me of mental illness, and have an attorney represent me and refuse to be used to allow the public to follow me life, pretend to be my doctors or my therapist or my family, or anyone else including Todd Spitzer, seek to entitle themselves to hurt me, use love as an excuse, or society as a whole and progress or human conditions, decide to injure mine in honor of anothers.
I’m the kind of person who is not allowed to love, be social, express themselves in photos, be photo’d in a bikini or sexy clothing, or be prescribed a medication I need to function. Life isn’t about aging and being too old for marriage, dating, or give birth be viewed as the fertile likesble human […]
Let’s face it, some can do no wrong, aren’t they the lucky ones. But what about all of us working hard to be well liked, and to have no enemies. I’m telling you when you feel like you cannot win it is time to rise above. Rising above spares you the unnecessary wasted energy investing so many emotions into everything you hear, until you literally feel like exploding. Take a deep breathe. 9 times out of 10 things improve when you are in a better head space, able to communicate well how you are feeling, or even how you talk about a feud or difficulty you face with another, be the bigger person. It doesn’t help to turn things into a shouting match, one one upping the other. Hear yourself out first, before you start memorizing all the lines you’ve heard that simply aggravate you. You can do better. Tell yourself you don’t deserve to be treated this way. That you deserve to be healthy, happy minded, and well balanced like the rest of them. Don’t let anyone knock you off center.
Focus on a positive stimulus, when you are positive, and good spirited and want things to turn out well for others, able to be happy for others, proud of others, influence positive changes to be made, pave way for greater acceptances, it will be the positives that will be weighed against the negatives in life. […]
It’s very easy to get hurt in life, when there is disagreement directed toward you, whether it’s a symptom, or a condition you experience that tells you whats of issue, or could be going wrong or you, I don’t think anyone ignores themselves, or dislikes themselves. I think we all do our best to love ourselves and take care of ourselves, and its an unfortunate aspect of life, to be fought, or blamed, for anothers condition or anger directed towards you, including voices. I think its wrong to mistreat people as haunted or guilty or hearing things untrue or relevant to who they are or how they lead their life that’s supposed to tell someone they are mentally ill and should not be alive or a known circumstance caused by any amount of rejection or sexuality. I have discussed voices enough and have never denied those terms or not discussed the repercussions of being called things that are not true, the issue is what is my guiding light and purpose in life, whats coming from me, and whats type of medical condition do you think is something Ive suffered from that’s my fault, or not something caused to me, traumatic that I was saved from experiencing cancer, isn’t the issue of calling me dirty names, or posting dirty photos, or giving me voices, doesn’t mean I haver done anything wrong, and voices don’t represent who I have harmed, and no amount of immaturity or type of background noise in tech illustrates an age group appropriate or inappropriate for me to speak to or be spoken through me misrepresented or harmed by me. I think I did my best to share my analytics, and have done my best to discuss voices. There have been periods with no voices, there have been periods off adderrall with voices. There have been periods when I have eaten food, and periods I eat less, periods when I feel loving, and periods when I want to be alone, there are only so many ways you can be in life, you can’t please them all. The goal is to be someone who good things happen to, a person who by location benefits their community and their sense of peace, and be someone of value who improves the value of where they work, whether that be online, or in an office working under the direction of an attorney. Sounds confusing, but these are long ways or describing how I am not intending to live my life, I will not live my life treated as mentally ill, I will not blog if Im given voices, I will not take adderrall if I can’t speak openly in the positive and represent myself well, I will not attend therapy if my privacy is not respected, I will not date if Im getting voices or called abhorrent terms in life, that don’t reflect who I am in pictures or the life Ive lived. There are many reasons to stay alive, and many reasons to die, and I think I am someone who represents reasons to live, and someone who figured out how to stay alive and preserve their innocence, and be allowed to live free of harm, and free of voices.
We go through life, and sometimes we are reminded of things in life, sometimes we notice things later as things become more clear, and sometimes we get carried away in how everything is connected that we lose sight of a common purpose in life, and this is what I think affects the team spirit in sticking together, viewing wellness as a capability we all have instead of an exchange view wellness as something that is lost to another person, that simply isn’t true. It’s all a matter of your own strength as a human being to not acquire false beliefs in life that affect your opinion on matters or affect your interactions with others. We are truly one big melting pot, America, and I think at a time like this, we are all focused on the road ahead, who to vote for, and just want things to get better. Things won’t get better, if people are complaining, if we as a society become symptomatic and fail to see the blessings and the beauty in life, and you know what all lives are worth living.
Staying well is incredibly difficult when you are feeling triggered or symptomatic. My best advice would be to stay positive. I’ve noticed that in times of difficulty Im either reaching out to get help, or feeling stuck and decide to shut myself off from the world, and that ends up causing me more problems, than […]
I’m sorry I wasn’t feeling well for three days, going through something private, with someone who was fighting me, but things are better now. I’m sure I tried to discuss it online in a way that classically makes me look bad and doesn’t help. I think taking a writing break is necessary in the event […]
Sometimes the best way to help is not to be accused of pretending or masking a condition or sick or capable of a character or trait that shows whether I carry disease or preference butt heads or combative a recognized source of discomfort or seek truth to voices punish me. I said Ive done my […]
If everyone’s connected to me no one is sick or dying and you call me a disease but fewer people are dying of drug related deaths and recovering that means we have overcome the hurt passing or behavior repeated like me not buying pills or Snapchat not being used as a place or anyone online […]
08-30-24 Going through something personal right now, just need to talk to the Sheriff and figure out whats happening and why. While editing my website I noticed someone downloading and stealing content, and when I tried to change my password and remove my website from my jetpack, my website was removed from my account entirely, […]
At this point by my age 39, it doesn’t matter how I was known and helped or what my analytics are or what jobs and money is for, or what living home means, what matters most is do I comprehend what death means and in what ways have losses occurred that Im being accused of […]
08-31-24 If there is one thing that I have learned after being hurt is that, at no point in time in the future, in recovery, improvement wise, happiness wise, medication wise is anyone satisfied with forgiveness. What I have learned about being hurt in life is that everyone gets away with hurting you and there […]
At this point by my age 39, it doesn’t matter how I was known and helped or what my analytics are or what jobs and money is for, or what living home means, what matters most is do I comprehend what death means and in what ways have losses occurred that Im being accused of […]
The only thing in common between now and 2023, is that the publication of a derogatory hate website exposing my naked body without permission, photos made in compliance with request and in response to promises to not make a Facebook page and exploit my story, has turned out to be another failed negotiation, during the […]
When I start hearing voices that just means people are unhappy with me think bullying is tolerable don’t respect me my innocence ingenuity confidence in court and legal privilege to blog to everyone and email Brady a real anti gun violence organization everything I see problematic as well as state the emergency as it’s happening […]
When you’re head hurts sometimes it’s a lesson, sometimes it’s God protecting you, it’s usually not anyone you can accuse of being hurtful, there are many smart ways to view life if you simply aren’t affected or hurt by things easily the stronger you’ll be most people forget negative judgments and looking back anything happening […]
To me anger is a dangerous subject if mentioned causes much disagreement towards me questioning my perspectives on life, sexuality, trust I have had an all positive relationship history and I am too adjusting to circumstances as they are today and health expectations, fitness, and attractiveness. Being popular online is not about branding people from […]
You experience mental health issues you disclose various treatments and open about hospitalizations it’s an experience you improve but are not immune to going back to the hospital and no health you have the energy to gamble with. I will never be street and that doesn’t mean I’m not cool it just means I’m not […]
08-31-24 If there is one thing that I have learned after being hurt is that, at no point in time in the future, in recovery, improvement wise, happiness wise, medication wise is anyone satisfied with forgiveness. What I have learned about being hurt in life is that everyone gets away with hurting you and there […]
The last time I applied for jobs I got interviews, many interviews. This time applying for jobs I’ve received no replies. Which makes me wonder what has changed about since leaving my last job. I just have to do my best and stay positive at least I’m honest about my story and my goals in […]