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should I say I'm going to quit if my job doesn't deal with my horrible coworker, 2 bosses in a row couldn't say why they disliked my work, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I tell my job I’m going to quit if they don’t deal with my horrible coworker? I’ve been at this job for over 15 years. My coworker, Sally, has been here for less than three. She has questioned my experience and knowledge from the […]
where are you now? (a call for updates) - Ask a Manager
It’s mid-year updates season! If you’ve had your question answered here in the past, please email me an update and let us know how your situation turned out. Did you take the advice? Did you not take the advice? What happened? How’s your situation now? (Don’t post your updates here though; email them to me.) […]
stolen mugs, pilfered lunches, and missing iPads: let's discuss office thefts - Ask a Manager
You’d like to think you can trust the people you work around, but in reality office thefts are surprisingly common. From the coworker who stole someone’s spicy food and got sick (and the epic update), to the manager who stole someone’s family heirloom, to the boss who stole an employee’s iPad, to the boss who […]
what should I say when people miss meetings? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I’m the president of a small grassroots not-for-profit board and I have plenty of virtual meetings with other board members, volunteers, community partners, and staff for one reason or another. I’m wondering if you have any suggested language for when people no-show for meetings. It’s a relatively minor issue, but it happens […]
when you can't give a good recommendation, firing someone right before her honeymoon, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Junior staff ask me for recommendations I can’t give without reservations I work with a number of support positions filled mostly by recent grads. Although they support my role, they are part of a different company and I have no supervisory role over them. A […]
update: my breastfeeding coworker won’t stop talking about her boobs - Ask a Manager
Remember the letter-writer whose breastfeeding coworker wouldn’t stop talking about her boobs? Here’s the update. It has been about a year since I wrote in. While the talk about breastfeeding specifically decreased about eight months in, my coworker’s seemingly endless need for attention and validation was unceasing. It got to the point where only about […]
managing a team that resists any change and complains constantly - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I am the HR person for a small nonprofit which offers many different services to the public. We have one team in particular which has always been difficult to manage and has not really gotten along with any manager they have had. We’ve most recently brought in a new manager for this […]
my manager sucks at his job - should I talk to his boss? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I am looking for some advice on how to deal with my manager. I have worked in this organization for about three years, and my manager, Mark, started a few months before me. Out of all of the managers I’ve ever had, he is by far the kindest and most flexible (he’s […]
two of my employees won't speak to each other - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I’m managing a department of eight people and two of them won’t speak to each other. I’m new to my position and it took me a couple of months to figure out that they weren’t talking. They literally won’t speak to each other. If we have a meeting, they won’t participate if […]
my coworker ignores the parts of his job he doesn't like - could I do that too? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I have a coworker, Fred, who once told me the best work advice an older coworker gave him was “don’t be good at a job you don’t want.” In our three years working together, Fred has really shown he’s taken this advice to heart — unfortunately, at the expense of his team […]
my employee thinks I'm intolerant of neurodiversity - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: A couple of weeks ago, I gave my employee, Rita, negative feedback on her behavior. It wasn’t what she was saying; it was how she was saying it. She was speaking rapidly and in a panicked but unwarranted manner. She was high-strung and scattered, and I felt interrogated. She accepted my feedback […]
manager gets anxious about how I manage my time, telling my boss it would be OK to lay me off, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My manager gets anxious about how I manage my time even though I never miss deadlines My supervisor often assigns me projects well in advance of when they’re due. The problem is, she quickly gets anxious after assigning me work and mentions it repeatedly and […]
should I penalize candidates for not sending thank-you notes? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I am interviewing for two positions currently. So far I’ve interviewed six people and not one has sent any kind of follow-up or thank-you note. I can tell from the virtual meeting invite that they all have my email address, so that’s not the reason. I polled some friends and got a […]
candidate lied in their interview, negotiating beyond the top of the salary range, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Candidate lied to us in their interview I was recently involved in interviews for a promotion in my department. We interviewed three internal candidates, so we were familiar with each candidate’s work. The interview team consisted the hiring manager (Fran), Fran’s boss (Tom), and me. […]
I work with a substitute teacher who has terrible breath - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I work at a K-12 school in a teacher-leader role. This means I do not have my own classes nor do I have management powers over any staff. Our school hires a substitute teacher to come to the building every day on the chance that one teacher is going to be unexpectedly […]
HR panicked my employee by sending a mysterious meeting request right before the weekend - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: We received and validated some complaints about language used by a member of my team — off-color jokes, insensitive comments, etc. I agreed with HR that this did not rise to the level of a formal warning, but we would have a documented sit-down with the associate to explain it wasn’t acceptable […]
employee is afraid to fly, the office poopfoot, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employee is afraid to fly I work on a small marketing team and have one direct report. A couple of times a year, our team is required to attend industry conferences to staff a booth. These events typically require air travel and are part of […]
open thread - May 16, 2025 - Ask a Manager
It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]
weekend open thread - May 17-18, 2025 - Ask a Manager
This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Dearly Departed, by Elinor Lipman. After the unexpected death of her mother, single mom returns to her small hometown and realized life there was […]
update: how long should it take for HR to tell me if my accommodation request will be granted? - Ask a Manager
Remember the letter-writer wondering how long should it take for HR to tell her if her accommodation request would be granted? Here’s the update. I wrote you a couple of weeks ago wanting to know how long it should take my employer to get back to me about an accommodation request. I have an update: […]
how do I adjust to returning to the office after working from home for 5 years? - Ask a Manager
It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I’m writing in to find out how to get prepared, both literally and mentally, for a relatively quick change in my work situation. Context: I work at a state agency in Minnesota and for the last five years a large majority of state employees have […]
boss tells me to solve everything myself, how much contact should I have with my teenager's manager, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Am I obligated to use my personal network for my job? I work for a nonprofit in a general admin role that involves some development as well (we’re very small, so it’s kind of all-hands-on-deck). From the start, I have been urged by the executive […]
is it a problem to give my employee only positive feedback? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I have a truly excellent employee on my team, “Dave.” He is bright, diligent, always volunteers for extra tasks and responsibility, and his work product is very high quality. I’m going to need to provide an annual review of Dave soon and I feel like I owe him more than “you’re doing […]
our office is swelteringly hot and no one will do anything - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: The room I work in is an office with about 10 cubicles located in the middle of the building. We have windows to the hallway, but none to outside. Two summers ago, our AC broke and the temperature in the office was between 79 and 82 all summer. Management bought italian ices […]
do I need to buy a new car for my job, what should be handled by HR versus managers, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Do I need to rush to buy a new car for my job? I have a long-term job where I didn’t need a car until a few months ago, when I began transporting stuff for a new project about 2-3 times a week. Unfortunately, my […]
how do I manage someone with extreme social anxiety who calls out before events? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I manage someone with extreme social anxiety who seems a lot like person #1 in this column. Lee is very good at their job-specific tasks, which are largely operational and do not require much social interaction with the team or outsiders. We have established some office protocols that help support them (allowing […]
how do I manage someone with poorly controlled ADHD? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I manage an employee who has admitted that she struggles with ADHD, and unfortunately it’s affecting her work. I could use some advice on how to proceed. She regularly forgets to clock in and clock out when she works, sometimes missing more than half her clock punches in a pay period. This […]
the unflattering photographs, the cat medicine, and other times people used their power for good - Ask a Manager
Last week we talked about times people “misused” their power for good. Here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The payout I had a colleague, “Carol,” who decided to retire, and went in to tell our site HR person this and get the pension paperwork started. The HR person, “Grace,” was apparently […]
are there red flags I'm missing at my new job? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I started a new job abroad. It’s a small country, and I’m adjusting well. I lived as an expat for six years prior to this in a less developed country, working in a much smaller, less professional company, and I know how much worse things can be in terms of working conditions, […]
coworkers want our office breakfasts to be vegan, how to back out of a job, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. A group of coworkers are pushing for our in-office breakfasts to be vegan My company is doing a weekly in-office breakfast (a “hotel breakfast”-like assortment: toast, cheese, ham, eggs, yogurt and granola, etc.) with the goal of bringing people together, since we’re largely remote. A […]
receiving praise at work makes my skin crawl - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I am so uncomfortable getting praised or receiving good feedback that it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. For context, I started my job less than half a year ago, and the issue (which I have had all my life) became more prominent about two months ago. I was […]
should I have told my employee I figured out she was pregnant? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I work for a small organization that prides ourselves on being very good with our benefits, including paid parental leave. We’ve never had a pregnant staffer, so all of our plans are in theory and not yet been tested in real life. We’ve been having issues lately with staff not adhering to […]
I wasn't told until my final interview that I'd need to work 80-hour weeks - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I just completed the fourth and final interview for a newly created role at my company. It’s within my current division but with a different team. The process has dragged on for about three months, but up until now it’s been entirely positive. My first three interviews couldn’t have gone better. The […]
my employee talks in song, coworker keeps reserving the desk I like, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker wants to know why my boss is scheduling a meeting … and it’s to address his mistakes My coworker, Karl, is higher ranking than I am. He is actually one of the top executives, but he has been making a LOT of mistakes. […]
an unfair credit for child care expenses, telling our director she’s not invited to a meeting, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is a credit for child care expenses fair to employees without kids? Recently a viral video and announcement has gone around of a company offering credits up to $3,000 a month for child care expenses. This is fantastic! However, as a child-free person I’m concerned […]
weekend open thread - May 10-11, 2025 - Ask a Manager
This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Three Junes, by Julia Glass. The story of three generations of a Scottish family, across three summers. It’s about the expectations and obligations of […]
open thread - May 9, 2025 - Ask a Manager
It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]
some new tags! - Ask a Manager
In addition to the new “sagas” tag (for letters with multiple updates, twists, and turns), we now have the following tags as well: AAM classics – a tag for posts that are still frequently discussed years later. It includes the new hire who built a blanket fort in her office, the new boss who was […]
employee is in remote limbo, we’re expected to provide treats for better-paid coworkers, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My employee is in remote limbo and it’s impacting her work I have an employee, Jane, who moved two hours from our office during the pandemic. My manager, who has since been let go, told Jane she could work from anywhere. It was a verbal […]
should I remove DEI work from my resume? - Ask a Manager
Two questions, same topic. The first one: I’m on the job hunt, and I have some DEI-focused experience on my resume. I’ve received five rejections from the ~15 jobs I’ve applied for (at least they responded instead of ghosting me!) and I’m wondering if the DEI work is getting flagged. I revamped my team’s interview […]