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HR says I can’t use sick leave for a family emergency, coworker won’t do his work, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. HR says I can’t use sick leave for a family emergency Recently, “life happened” and I took a day off from work because I needed to take care of some things and I wasn’t feeling mentally well. I emailed work in the morning and said […]
updates: employee gets special privileges because she’s dating an NBA player, and more - Ask a Manager
Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Employee gets special privileges because she’s dating an NBA player I didn’t have time to go to my manager regarding your advice because days after your response was posted, Cersei’s boyfriend broke up with her. As a side note, she lived with him in his very nice […]
it takes me longer to do my work - why can't I opt out of overtime pay? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I have worked in the evolving field of IT all of my four-decade career. Most of my jobs have been exempt from overtime, while my last few tech support / help desk positions have been non-exempt. I’ve always been a slower (and I think, more thorough) worker who needs more time to […]
should I tell an employee she should take less time off if she wants better projects? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I work in an industry notorious for poor work-life balance. Our company has an unlimited PTO policy, with most people on the team taking about 15-20 days, usually no more than five straight days at a time. (So one week off per quarter, just about) I have a team member who has […]
my boss won't let me tell coworkers that I'm pregnant - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I am in an unusual position at work and I wondered what your point of view on this would be. For context on this: I work remotely and almost never see my coworkers in person. If I did, this situation would be a lot sillier than it already is. I work for […]
my employee dropped the ball while I was away, my husband’s boss is coming on to him, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My employee dropped the ball on something major while I was away I am the executive director of a small charity. I had the opportunity to support my mom on a three-week holiday in Europe, all expenses paid. My organization had six months notice and […]
did I cross a line with the (messy, chaotic) organization I volunteer for? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I moved to a new state a year ago and, in the effort to find community, I joined a grassroots nonprofit as a volunteer coordinator (as a volunteer, not for my job). Since I’ve joined, we’ve had transparency issues with the board. Every few months, someone would either join or drop off […]
I ask candidates their salary expectations, and I don't feel bad about it - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: You’ve talked about how inappropriate it is for employers to ask candidates about their salary expectations without giving out any info on salary themselves. I became a small business owner without having received training in that aspect of things, but learned early on when I am hiring to always ask the candidate […]
our office is filthy, I don’t want my team to offer solutions to another department, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I don’t want my team to offer solutions to a department that’s been messing up I work in compliance. Right now I’m in a situation where an aspect of our programs isn’t being followed because the area is being under-resourced. This was noticed by an […]
open thread - October 3, 2025 - Ask a Manager
It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]
weekend open thread - October 4-5, 2025 - Ask a Manager
This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Great Big Beautiful Life, by Emily Henry. Two very different writers — one an outgoing celebrity journalist and one a Pulitzer-Prize-winning curmudgeon — […]
what should I keep in mind when considering a job with long hours? - Ask a Manager
It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I currently work in the private sector, but lately I’ve been feeling dissatisfied with the thought of spending my whole career working just to increase shareholder value. My employer and many other companies in my field have demonstrated zero loyalty or investment in employees, with […]
moving people to a new team just so they can be fired, only some people are getting retention bonuses, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Moving people to a new team just so they can be fired This got relayed to me from a coworker who is in a supervisory role, Dorothy. She has a direct report who she is working on terminating, as this individual has not been meeting […]
updates: enneagrams at a company retreat, peer reviews, and more - Ask a Manager
Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. We’re supposed to do enneagrams at a company retreat I spoke to a few colleagues about the enneagram activity, and many agreed and felt this was a strange work activity. I shared with my boss and those in charge of the retreat, and they heard some other […]
how much notice should you expect to get when you're invited to interview? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I’ve been in the job market over the last few months for executive roles and have been genuinely surprised by how disorganized and last-minute some hiring processes are. Is it standard and reasonable to expect candidates to be available within 24-48 hours for half- or full-day interviews, locally or even with travel? […]
I manage a married couple, employee refuses to wear our uniform, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I manage a married couple, and it’s causing problems I manage a married couple. I hired one of them first, and a few years later the spouse finished a degree that gave them the right expertise to also join my team. They don’t supervise each […]
am I too nice to be a good manager? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I’ve been a people manager for a few years now. I join a company as an individual contributor and get pushed into management as soon as a role opens. I don’t seek it out; I’ve tried to decline, only to end up managing anyway. I believe in the “servant leader” style, and […]
the shrimp harbinger, the quartered meatballs, and other signs of financial trouble at work - Ask a Manager
Last month we talked about signs of financial trouble you’ve seen at work — the early signs that foretold something worse was to come — and here are 12 interesting stories you shared. 1. The shrimp harbinger One place I worked at had a holiday party, and long-timers clocked that the size of the shrimp […]
I'm afraid to give feedback after 2 employees threatened self-harm - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I am a manager and I have a lot of empathy for people on my team. However, that empathy has taken a turn since I’ve now had employees twice threaten suicide after serious feedback conversations. In both cases I was told they were considering suicide because of the potential job loss, and […]
vaping on video calls, my name makes coworkers think I’m older than I am, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Vaping on video calls I work for Company A. We partner closely with Company B on a few projects. There is a power dynamic where Company B provides more resources and calls more shots than we do, and I am very new on the team. […]
do I have to avoid talking about Warhammer 40k at work? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: My job has a weekly meeting where a different employee each week presents to our group about what they’ve been working on for the past few months (academic lab meeting). The group is about 30 people and includes our boss/PI and everyone else in the lab group. There’s a tradition where the […]
I can't keep up at work - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I worked with an incredibly talented team of colleagues, and I feel like my own work isn’t anywhere near their level. I regularly complete far fewer projects than anyone else on the team, and I still need help on things they all seem to do independently. This isn’t the job I started […]
my office loves to drink, and I'm trying to stop drinking - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: My workplace has drinking heavily interwoven into the culture. You doubtless know the kind of place — never had a work social event without copious amounts of booze, boss bringing around beers on Friday afternoons, work parties with an open bar being relocated to another bar where the limitless company tab covers […]
the government shutdown: an open thread for federal employees and contractors - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: Could we do an open thread for federal employees and federal contractors about the possible government shutdown? I wasn’t working in government for the last one and don’t really know what to expect. Yes indeed. People impacted by the last shutdown, what advice do you have for people affected by this one? […]
can I refuse to fetch my manager’s personal mail, accidentally asked people to buy me baby gifts, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can I refuse to fetch my manager’s personal mail? I work in a room with my manager and two colleagues, and between them they order 3-10 personal packages to the office a week. They don’t get up to answer the door even when they’re sitting […]
will I offend my coworkers if I invite them to my religious wedding? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I recently came across a letter you answered about 10 years ago, where a woman wanted to decline an invitation to a wedding because she was uncomfortable with it being gender segregated. Your response was unsurprising, but I was a bit taken aback that a number of commenters mentioned they would be […]
I was offered a promotion to manager but with no raise - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I’ve been working at a university for eight years in the donor relations department. This past year has been really tough for the university budget-wise, for various political funding reasons. There was a round of layoffs in late April, where 10 out of the 60 people let go were in our unit […]
my boss told me I had to be on camera while sick, telling an organization their volunteer is obnoxious, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss told me I had to be on camera while sick My department hosts a monthly zoom meeting to a large audience. That week I was working from home with a terrible cold (coughing, sneezing, runny nose, the whole package). The day the meeting […]
weekend open thread - September 27-28, 2025 - Ask a Manager
This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Single, Carefree, Mellow, by Katherine Heiny. I don’t normally like short stories but I will read everything Katherine Heiny writes and these short […]
open thread - September 26, 2025 - Ask a Manager
It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]
my boss wants me to start coming into the office, but I've always been remote - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I have been working at my company for three years now. In that time, I have been to the office approximately once. My work is pretty solitary and doesn’t require me to be in the office. Only a few people in the organization are required to go to the office every day. […]
update: I’m covering 2 full-time jobs and my boss won’t help - Ask a Manager
Remember the letter-writer who was covering two full-time jobs and her boss wouldn’t help? It turns out that she solved the problem herself before I printed my answer. Here’s the update. Your advice was lovely and I hope it helps people who are in the same position as I was. As an update – Things […]
let's talk about corporate gifts you actually liked - Ask a Manager
We’ve talked about terrible corporate gifts, so now it’s time to talk about great ones. And yes, money and time off are the best gifts, but sometimes you’re going to get something else so let’s hear about what actually worked. Some examples that have been shared here in the past: The best Doctor’s Day gift […]
aggravated by my company’s giving-back program, superstar fiancé is my former professor, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I’m aggravated by my company’s giving-back program My company has a giving-back program where employees are asked to volunteer time or make donations to charity and in return there is a designated one-day holiday that the entire company gets off. Terrific, right? This year, my […]
my new remote employee has terrible internet - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I’ve just hired a new remote employee who is absolutely wonderful. He’s organized, driven, talented and self-starting. I feel like I’ve won the jackpot — with a catch. His internet is really, really bad. It’s almost impossible to have him share his screen with me (or vice versa) or to carry on […]
employer pulled my offer after I asked questions, how to weed out candidates with obnoxious personalities, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Employer pulled my offer after I asked questions Last year I worked at a school I absolutely loved in a contract middle leadership position, covering leave. They were very happy with my work, but as there was only space for one person in the role, […]
company dress code requires women to wear high heels and only shop at Ann Taylor - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: A friend of mine got a job in property management and wasn’t told about the dress code until a couple months in. It is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. The highlights: * Women can only shop at Ann Taylor. They are given $700 twice a year for a clothing […]
can I ask my coworkers to tell me to shut up when I'm talking too much? - Ask a Manager
A reader writes: I’m the other side of letters you get more commonly: I am the overly talkative coworker trying to figure out how to professionally ask (read as beg) people to cut me off. I have pretty obvious/intense ADHD and do work with my doc to manage it as best we can. Unfortunately, we […]
the shared yoga mat, the fire hazard, and other tales of poorly thought-out corporate gifts - Ask a Manager
Earlier this month, we talked about corporate gifts that went terribly wrong. You shared so many outrageous stories that I had to split my favorites into two parts. Part one was here, and here’s part two. 1. The fire hazard After college I spent some time temping for a cargo airline. When someone had been […]
employee thinks their lack of skill is just "imposter syndrome," doxxing and online political speech, and more - Ask a Manager
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I need to give feedback to someone who thinks they have imposter syndrome but really doesn’t know what they’re doing I work in a pretty varied team, say developing tea and teapots. I lead the teapots division, and I have a counterpart, Lee, who leads […]