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BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor - Cheezy
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GC Warns Adventists Not to Bring Sermon Feedback Signs to Church Like House Democrats | Barely Adventist
Silver Spring, MD – The General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has issued an emergency memo to members worldwide, pleading with them not to emulate the “attention-hungry House Democrats” by …
Vine Clarifies His New Venture’s ‘Needle to the Pole’ Name NOT an Endorsement of Vaccines | Barely Adventist
Berrien Springs, Mich. – Dr. Conrad Vine, the outgoing president of Adventist Frontier Missions (AFM), has launched a new ministry called As the Needle to the Pole. But after a flurry of raised ey…
Andrews Seminary Professor Looking for New Job After Claiming Caffeine Is Fruit of the Spirit | Barely Adventist
An Andrews University Seminary professor is reportedly seeking new employment after making the bold claim that caffeine is, in fact, one of the fruits of the Spirit. The professor, whose name has …
Adventist School Bans Rainbows in Science Class to Avoid ‘Unintended Theological Statements’ | Barely Adventist
Covenant Hills Adventist Academy has officially banned the display, discussion, or creation of rainbows in all science classes. This unprecedented decision was made to prevent what school official…
A Used Pathfinder Sash, and Other Presents for Adventists with Inconvenient January Birthdays | Barely Adventist
Wallet still recovering from Christmas? Fear not! Here’s a list of budget-friendly gifts for the Adventist in your life who had the audacity to be born in January: A Used Pathfinder Sash Not…
GC Aims to Double Adventist Membership by Requiring Adventists to Have Twice as Many Babies | Barely Adventist
In a bold move to boost church growth, the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has announced a controversial new initiative aimed at doubling the denomination’s global membership. T…