SILVER SPRING, MD — General Conference President Ted Wilson officially confirmed his retirement this week, vowing to “step back and let the Spirit lead” the upcoming GC Session’s nominating commit…

BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor

30.05.2025

Marriage Ceremony Delayed—Bride’s Ex-Husband Still to Issue Official Adultery Notification | Barely Adventist

In a development that has left the entire church board on the edge of their folding chairs, the much-anticipated remarriage of Sister Abigail was postponed this Sabbath after her ex-husband, Broth…

BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor

03.06.2025

Pastor Reminds Flock: “God Loves a Cheerful Giver — But We’ll Settle for a Terrified One” | Barely Adventist

Cheapend, ENGLAND — In a stirring Sabbath morning appeal that left the congregation equal parts amused and alarmed, Pastor Cliff Remnant reminded his flock this past weekend that “God loves a chee…

BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor

06.06.2025

GC Calls for Ceasefire in Trump-Musk Spat: “It’s a Separation, Not a Divorce!” | Barely Adventist

Silver Spring, MD – The General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has officially intervened in the escalating public squabble between President Donald Trump and tech titan Elon Musk. Their mess…

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BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor

Cheezy

Wilson Confirms Retirement, Promises Not to Manipulate GC Session Nominating Committee | Barely Adventist

Marriage Ceremony Delayed—Bride’s Ex-Husband Still to Issue Official Adultery Notification | Barely Adventist

Pastor Reminds Flock: “God Loves a Cheerful Giver — But We’ll Settle for a Terrified One” | Barely Adventist

GC Calls for Ceasefire in Trump-Musk Spat: “It’s a Separation, Not a Divorce!” | Barely Adventist

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