In a celestial press release a spokes-angel has revealed that the Savior is genuinely puzzled by the Adventist Church’s longstanding “Jesus is Coming, I Will Go!” slogan. “…

BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor

09.09.2025

Prepper Just Wants Time of Trouble To Start Already | Barely Adventist

BOISE, Idaho — Local Adventist prepper Jared Martin says he’s completely over waiting for the Time of Trouble and would appreciate if it could just “get rolling already.” Martin has spent the last…

BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor

11.09.2025

Should we be telling our children Jesus will come in their lifetime? | Barely Adventist

My mom did with me, I don’t with my kid. Not sure what approach is right… Tell us what you think here. ❤️ Love BarelyAdventist? Support us on Patreon for as little as $1 per month Head…

BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor

17.09.2025

Church Wi-Fi Now Filters Out Sites Without Ellen White Citations | Barely Adventist

SILICON VALLEY, Calif. — Adventist tech volunteers across North America unveiled a cutting-edge church Wi-Fi filter this Sabbath that blocks access to any website lacking a proper Ellen White cita…

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BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor

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Jesus Upset Adventists Want to Leave Just as He Is Coming | Barely Adventist

Prepper Just Wants Time of Trouble To Start Already | Barely Adventist

Should we be telling our children Jesus will come in their lifetime? | Barely Adventist

Church Wi-Fi Now Filters Out Sites Without Ellen White Citations | Barely Adventist

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