Follow me Sawtooth, Tenn. – Conspiracy theorist and self-proclaimed health message expert Soy Lent claims to have uncovered a secret plot by the Illuminati to undermine the Adventist health message through the creation and mass distribution of Oreo cookies. “Wake up, sheeple!” exclaimed Lent during a 3-hour YouTube live stream …

BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor

01.08.2024

Adventist Baby’s First Words: “Happy Sabbath!” – BarelyAdventist

Follow me LOMA LINDA, Calif. — In a stunning display of spiritual precocity, 6-month-old Jedediah Remnant stunned his parents and pediatrician by uttering the words “Happy Sabbath!” as his very first words. The auspicious occasion occurred last Saturday morning as little Jedediah’s parents, Ezekiel and Prudence Remnant, were dressing him …

BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor

02.08.2024

Adventist Runner Disqualified from Marathon for Refusing to Pin on Number, Citing Leviticus – BarelyAdventist

Follow me BOSTON, Mass. — An Adventist runner was disqualified from the Boston Marathon this year after refusing to pin his race bib to his shirt, citing the book of Leviticus. Silas Goodwin, a 42-year-old accountant and longtime runner, had qualified for the prestigious race but ran into trouble when …

BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor

04.08.2024

Pastor Considering Eliminating Sermon Altogether Since Worship Leader Just Repeats Everything Anyway – BarelyAdventist

Follow me COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Pastor Jed Dumas of Berbose Community Adventist Church is seriously considering eliminating his weekly sermon altogether, citing the fact that his worship leader, Wes Crosby, just repeats and summarizes everything he says anyway. “I pour my heart and soul into these sermons, crafting them with …

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BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor

Cheezy

Conspiracy Theorist Claims Illuminati Created Oreos to Undermine Adventist Health Message – BarelyAdventist

Adventist Baby’s First Words: “Happy Sabbath!” – BarelyAdventist

Adventist Runner Disqualified from Marathon for Refusing to Pin on Number, Citing Leviticus – BarelyAdventist

Pastor Considering Eliminating Sermon Altogether Since Worship Leader Just Repeats Everything Anyway – BarelyAdventist

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BarelyAdventist | Adventist satire and humor