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Evelyn Lim - Education & Personal Development
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Coaching vs Counselling: What is the Difference - Transformation Life Coach | EFT Practitioner Evelyn Lim
Are you wondering what the difference between coaching and counselling is? Who should you be hiring: coach or counsellor? Do both professions mean the same thing or are they different? I encounter these type of questions a lot. Many people don’t know what the differences are. They get confused over which professional can best help them. As a Certified Coach with a post-graduate diploma in counselling psychology, I hope to clarify what the differences are. Whether a person is a coach or counsellor, they offer support for a client’s well-being through conversations. Even though there are similarities, they can differ
4 Reasons on Why You Need to Heal Your Wounded Inner Teenager - Transformation Life Coach | EFT Practitioner Evelyn Lim
Healing our inner teenager is sometimes overlooked as we often place emphasis on dealing with traumas or events arising from when we were below 7 years old. While the early years are considered to be most crucial for healthy development, doing inner teen work can be just as important. The teenage years are a pivotal period where emotional wounds can take root, shaping our adult lives in profound ways. The following are reasons why doing inner teen work is important... Why Heal Your Wounded Inner Teenager Repressed Emotions. Through my work with clients, I\'ve encountered individuals who grappled with unresolved
How to Build Emotional Awareness: Feelings as Feedback - Transformation Life Coach | EFT Practitioner Evelyn Lim
Building emotional awareness requires us to be in touch with our feelings, and not avoid them. When it comes to negative emotions, no one likes to be in pain and so there is a tendency to push our feelings down. Our avoidance could also be that we don\'t like being seen as \'emo\' on the assumption that we need to appear strong. However, when we are in the habit of suppressing our emotions for too long, a host of problems can occur; ranging from depression and anxiety to substance abuse. After realising about the importance of getting to know ourselves,
How to Cultivate a Healthy Mindset for Mental Health - Transformation Life Coach | EFT Practitioner Evelyn Lim
The mindset that you hold affects your mental health. Your mindset is a collection of thoughts that shape your view of the world. It comprises of the stories you tell yourself and about life. The more you believe in the stories you tell yourself, the more they affect you in how you react and act. They determine the quality of your life and the level of happiness. If you are overly anxious or you often feel down such that you feel depressed, your mental health is not at its best. It can point to having a mindset that is not
Mindset Journal for Women: How to Practice Positive Thinking - Transformation Life Coach | EFT Practitioner Evelyn Lim
My new book, Mindset Journal for Women, is finally out on Amazon...yay!! It is a journal workbook with prompts to practice positive thinking, mindfulness and to improve mental health. You can find the listing on Amazon here. For the vast majority of people, nearly 90% of our self-talk is negative. It is reflective of having a negative or limiting mindset. In order to overcome the habitual pattern of negative thinking, we need to consistently work on building a positive mindset. Also, studies show that more women than men go into depression. It is where the Mindset Journal for Women comes
How does EFT tapping help to increase vibration - Transformation Life Coach | EFT Practitioner Evelyn Lim
\'How does EFT tapping help to increase vibration?\' This was the exact question posed to me by a participant when I gave an introduction class on EFT to a group recently. Great question! Well, I\'d like to share my answers with you here, in case you are wondering the same too. EFT Tapping for Raising Vibrations In case this is the first time you are hearing about EFT tapping, it is a therapeutic method where we use the fingertips to tap on specific meridian endpoints on the face and body. EFT tapping is a great tool for releasing emotional disruptions and restoring
How You Could Be in Self-Sabotage Due to Past Trauma and a Protective Nervous System - Transformation Life Coach | EFT Practitioner Evelyn Lim
Self-sabotage happens when you are in your own way of your overall happiness and success. You are either doing or not doing something that blocks achieving your goals. For example, despite wanting to have a loving relationship with your partner, you undertake actions that block connection or intimacy. So here\'s what I discovered about how we could be sabotaging our present due to the past... Even though the past traumatic experience is now over, our nervous system continues to use the encoded information that is from the distressing memory to disrupt us today. Let me attempt to explain further. Say, you
How Your Nervous System Impacts Goal Setting and Your Ability to Hit Higher Targets - Transformation Life Coach | EFT Practitioner Evelyn Lim
You are all ready to start the new year with a new set of goals. Perhaps you are thinking that this year is going to be different. It will be the year where you manage to break new ground, step up or scale your business. You are more determined than ever to meet your goals. Well, to increase your chances of success, an understanding about your nervous system is going to help. In fact, if you have not made much headway in previous years, this could be the ONE thing that you are missing in that explains your lack of
How to Harness the Power of the Mind for Manifesting Success - Transformation Life Coach | EFT Practitioner Evelyn Lim
We may have come across the idea about harnessing the power of the mind. Yet, not many of us utilise it fully for manifesting what we want. More often than not, we use the mind for cognitive tasks like problem-solving and decision-making, relegating its extraordinary potential to the background. It\'s important to recognise that we are constantly in the process of manifesting. Our thoughts play a significant role in shaping the world we live in. If we focus our mind on negative thoughts, it is more likely that we bring about a negative outcome. On the contrary, if we think
How Trauma is Not Just in Your Head or Mind - Transformation Life Coach | EFT Practitioner Evelyn Lim
What I found out about trauma is this: Trauma isn’t something that is just in your head or mind. It’s not just a past memory. In fact, it is stored in the habitual reflexive state of your nervous system. It is in your heart, head, your stomach, arms, legs..all the sensory information that got coded. They manifest in an overreactive response to stress today: racing heart, shallow breathing, nausea, indigestion, trembling hands, blurred vision, etc. For trauma recovery, it helps to remember: not just your head or mind, every part of your body was there in the past. Why Knowing That Trauma is
What Are Glimmers and How You Can Find Them - Transformation Life Coach | EFT Practitioner Evelyn Lim
Glimmers are the opposite of triggers. Glimmers are moments that act as cues for self-regulation and for soothing our nervous system. They are tiny moments where we feel relaxed, safe, assured and connected. In contrast triggers cause us to feel threatened. When we are triggered badly, our fight-flight-freeze response can get excessively activated and our nervous system becomes deregulated. The concept of glimmers first came from Polyvagal theory. The theory was introduced by Stephen Porges in 1995 where we learn about how our autonomic nervous system is constantly on the lookout for cues to determine if they are dangerous. \'Glimmers\'
Stop Shaming Your Body For Gaining Self-Acceptance - Transformation Life Coach | EFT Practitioner Evelyn Lim
If you are in the habit of shaming your own body, stop. Shaming your own body because of your physical imperfections can cause you to feel lousy about yourself.Perhaps you don\'t like the way your nose looks, the slant of your eyes, the shape of your face, your freckles, boob size, etc...and the list goes on. While it may be true that they are not perfect according to some beauty standards, shaming yourself over them is not going to be helpful for your confidence. Well, it took me a long time to embrace my imperfections, including physical flaws. In the past,
How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds When You Can't Turn Back the Clock - Abundance Life Coach | Evelyn Lim
Some of us may be resistant to the idea of having to heal childhood wounds. That is because we don\'t like having to revisit the past in our memory. We fear that we would relive the pain and that we would traumatise ourselves all over again. Even more so, we wish that the past did not happen. For sure, if not for the past, we would have suffered less all these years and we wouldn’t have felt so lost, alone and confused. More importantly, we wouldn’t be unconsciously having an inner child that is bent on sabotaging our present. Perhaps, just
Self-Love Practice eBook is Now Live - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
I’m happy to announce that my new ebook, Self-Love Practice, is finally “live” on Amazon…yayyyy!! As I figure, it is time for an update with new insights and client stories. Although it has been at least 9 years ago since I published my first book on self-love, I’ve been suspecting that there is still a lot of people out there with no or little clue on what it means to love themselves. Much of my suspicion arose from my sessions with clients. They could have presented a problem in say, performance anxiety, relationship conflicts or having imposter syndrome. Regardless of
How to Reduce Relationship Conflicts: Make Observations, Not Evaluations - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
“Observations are the windows to empathy, while evaluations are the doors to conflict.” Marshall Rosenberg Are you tired of encountering misunderstandings and conflicts in your conversations?Well, a good book to read is this: Nonviolent Communication (NVC) by Marshall Rosenberg.The author offers a ton of valuable tips for us.One such tip: separate observations from evaluation. Observations focus on factual information without judgment, while evaluations involve personal interpretations and assessments. Separating observations from evaluations is something that I have to learn myself. My tendency is to jump right into judgement or an evaluation. Obviously, when this happens, it doesn\'t land well with my
Why You May Want to Reconsider the Business Advice of "Charge What You Are Worth" - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
Many business coaches often have the advice of “charge what you are worth” when it comes to pricing your coaching services. Even though you could be in the midst of getting your business off the ground, they may still recommend that you charge high prices for your time. They assure you that you are worthy and deserving and that at the soul level, you are also of infinite worth. Hence, you are justified to raise your prices since you are \'more than enough\'. Admittedly, such advice can stoke anyone’s ego. And since they are your business coaches, you may decide
The Secret to Manifestation that No One Tells You About - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
When you are trying to decide whether or not to pursue a goal or dream, don’t expect to have absolute guarantee or proof that things will work before you are willing to put in “trust”. You may be praying for some signs from heaven but you’ve barely heard a squawk. Perhaps you\'ve secretly been hoping for some iron-clad assurance that will allay your fears of making a mistake or going down the wrong path but that would be wishful thinking! Alas, it doesn’t work that way. I\'ve been in the same shoes and what I\'ve discovered is this: you can
How Emotions Got Stuck in the Body - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
Have you ever felt scared just as a storm was brewing and there was loud rumbling thunder, whistling winds and lighting bolts in the sky? Well, a deer in the forest instantly senses fear.It is most likely to be prancing, kicking, shaking and chattering thrice as much in nervous tension.In fact, most wild animals react in the same manner when they are feeling scared. They can\'t keep still. Moving around helps them to discharge the negative energy from their bodies.However, humans are taught differently. When we are in fear, we are taught to suppress our emotions.We have been told to
Metaphysical Lessons from Everything Everywhere All at Once - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
Have you watched the movie, Everything Everywhere All at Once? I had the opportunity to watch the show on the Singapore Airlines flight I was on while traveling to Japan. Well, Everything Everywhere All at Once gives us a peak at first about how one often defaults to getting by and living an ordinary existence. Indeed, for the protagonist (Evelyn Wang played by Michelle Yeoh), there is nothing more certain than having to plough through piles of bills to compile taxes, cleaning other people\'s laundry, and taking care of a grumpy aged parent. Beneath the relentless rush to fulfil chores, life is
How Reparenting Helps to Address Your Insecure Attachment Style - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
If you have an insecure attachment style, you can potentially benefit from doing some reparenting work. Insecure attachment affects those in their ability to form healthy relationships, make decisions and/or to cope emotionally. On the other hand, reparenting yourself helps you to heal your inner child, gain trust and maintain emotional stability. Thus, you enhance your ability to cultivate close relationships, boost confidence and enhance overall well-being. Attachment styles first came from the work of John Bowlby, a psychologist. He first proposed Attachment theory in the 1950s and 1960s. Attachment theory helps us to find out more about the nurturing that
Reparenting Yourself: What Does It Mean and How to Get Started - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
What does reparenting yourself mean? Reparenting yourself simply means healing your inner child and giving your inner child the love and the guidance and support that you didn’t receive when you were young, in the present. Check out my new online course on How to Reparent Yourself. How Our Childhood Experiences Affect Us Children don\'t just need food, cloth and shelter. As children, we look to our parents for love and support. Also, we need them for guidance on important life skills. For example, we learn from our parents on how to manage emotions, how to treat ourselves, make decisions
How to Connect with Your Inner Child using S.H.I.F.T. - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
You may be wondering about how you can connect with your inner child. For a start, you may even have some doubts about the idea of having a wounded inner child. After all, it is not like the inner child is a being that you can actually see or hear externally. Let alone one that is wounded. How, then, do you connect with your inner child, if you are interested to heal aspects about your childhood? Well….it is true that you can’t actually see your inner child with your naked eye. It may even feel like you are playing pretend
How to Shift from a Scarcity into an Abundance Mindset - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
Steven Covey in his best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, first coined the terms of a scarcity mindset and an abundance mindset. Scarcity mindset refers to the paradigm of looking at life as finite, as if there is a limited number of pieces in a pie. On the other hand, an abundance mindset refers to the paradigm where there is enough and there is plenty for everyone. Here\'s how Stephen Covey describes the Scarcity Mindset... Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there
How You Can Schedule Healthy Money Dates into Your Calendar - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
A money date is one where you are working on your finances; whether on your own, with your partner or team. It is one where you specify a day and time on your calendar for a money-related activity that is meant to help you consolidate, improve and/or strengthen your personal or joint financial position. It may be that you need to work on budgeting, creating a spreadsheet to monitor expenses, discussing with your partner on financial options, reviewing your earnings, finding better ways to minimise tax, paying down your loans, moving of investment funds between accounts, getting updated advice from
How to Deal with Emotional Overwhelm When It Feels Too Much - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
Going through a tough period? Finding it hard to deal with emotional overwhelm? Perhaps, you are at a loss about what to do with the flood of feelings that are coming up.A client once described her experience as being in a washing machine, with the flood of emotions spinning round and round and unable to stop. And it happens to the best of us. Whatever the trigger is, it may be that you are feeling angry or sad, all at once.Or that you are feeling torn. You just can't make out what to think or how to go about solving
10 Signs of Emotional Bullying: How to Spot Them - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
Emotional bullying is when a person tries to get what he or she wants by making another feel afraid, small and helpless. It can happen in a children’s playground. Or it can happen in adult relationships. These days, emotional bullying can also take place online. Emotional bullying brings about negative effects. If it is made repeatedly, the victim’s mental health can decline. Victims end up with depression, anxiety, shame, guilt and fear, and have difficulties showing up fully at work or in their business. Emotional wounds can create leaks in attracting money and abundance too. Fortunately, it is possible for
Build Emotional Mastery: What is Emotional Labeling and Differentiation - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
Would like to build emotional mastery? Interested to boost your emotional well-being, so that you can be a lot more resilient in the face of difficulties? For a start, find out how emotional mastery can be attained through emotional labeling and differentiation of feelings. For those of us who have repressed our feelings for a long time, emotional labeling and differentiation can be a difficult thing to do. Emotional labeling refers to identifying our emotions and emotional differentiation refers to naming our emotions with specificity and granularity. Both can be difficult to do because we’ve rarely had the chance to process
Stop Gaslighting Yourself: Learn to Spot the 10 Signs - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
Could you be gaslighting yourself and not know it? Apparently, the concept of gaslighting came from an old movie. In the show, the wife gradually feels disoriented after her husband turns the gaslights down slightly lower each night. When she notices the shift in lights, he would negate her observations by saying that it is all in her head. He’d also do things, such as hiding items and insisting that she lost them. His tactics are aimed at causing her to lose sanity. While gaslighting appears to be an external psychological tactic, what’s troubling is that we can also be
4 Money Healing Stories: Letting Go of the Past - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
I have had the privilege of working with women who have realised that much of their financial stress and sense of lack stemmed from childhood. For a long time, they carried an emotional money wound. While they tried to put their pain aside, they found out that their wounds continued to bleed; such that there was an adverse impact on their financial well-being. These women had tried to 'will' their stress away but met with limited success; that is, until we started to work together. Well, I would like to share the stories of how each of them worked on
10 Tips for Conscious Reparenting of Your Inner Child - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
Do you often wish that you had received adequate love, guidance, support from your mum or dad when you were young? It could be that you’re now realising that part of the challenging issues you have today are related to your childhood. Perhaps you have experienced emotional neglect in the past. You find yourself still longing for love and assurance even today. This is not to blame any of your parents. After all, they parented you in the only way they knew how. They could have been brought up in the same or similar ways themselves. Yet, what remains is
EFT Tapping: Raise Your Energy Levels in the Morning - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
Do you sometimes wake up feeling tired but you’d really like to feel more energised and be in a better state of mind than yesterday? Well, I’d like to share with you a morning routine that you can do. Tapping in the mornings have helped me to ground myself, become more energised and ready to go. In fact, many of my private clients got inspired to tap in the mornings as part of their daily routine. So if you feel like you are needing a positive boost, I’d like to invite you to join me in this EFT tapping session...
What is the Fight-Flight-Freeze-Fawn Stress Response - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
Most of us have heard about the fight, flight and flee response to stress. But what about the fawn response? Well, let's put them altogether so that we can understand the different responses in the face of stress.Fight, flight or freeze is a set of stress response arising in natural body reactions to perceived threats. It's a survival response that has been programmed since the days of our ancestors when there was real danger posed by dangerous animals. These days, the threats that we face are largely psychological. However, the body continues to respond in the same manner as if
How to Deep Dive into the Root Cause of Anger - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
You may get all fiery, red and hot when feeling angry. It may also be that you lash out at others when you start to feel mad.However, anger may not just be about getting triggered and exploding in an outward behaviour.While you may feel justified about feeling angry, excessive anger can create an impact on your health and also hurt your relationships. Hence, to alleviate intense emotional levels such as anger, an inner deep dive is warranted. In fact, if you choose to investigate, you may just find out that there are deeper 'onion' layers (emotionally and cognitively). Refer to the image
10 Automatic Negative Thoughts that You Need to Let Go of - Abundance Coach for Women in Business | Evelyn Lim
Do you find yourself having negative thoughts that seem to pop in automatically? Our minds are often programmed to think more negatively that positively. Automatic negative thoughts are often cognitive distortions. The American Psychological Association defines cognitive distortions as “faulty or inaccurate thinking, perception or belief.” For some people, cognitive distortions are a pattern of thinking that can lead to chronic anxiety, depression, and behavioural problems such as substance abuse. Most of us have not been trained to observe our thoughts. It's possible to be more aware about what our behaviour is like or even how we are feeling. Yet,