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HumorOutcasts | Humor Writing Blog - Cheezy
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Ripping the Headlines Today, 6/6/25 – HumorOutcasts.com
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about the directorial debut of ScarJo at Cannes, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our…
Future Trump Books That He Hasn’t Had Ghost Written Yet. – HumorOutcasts.com
Lie Your Way To Power and the Presidency. Being Rich Isn’t The Only Thing- IT IS THE BEST THING! Marriage- A Great Way To Save Money On Sex And Avoid Spending It On Prostitutes. Women Go Big Time For Presidents- Don’t I Know! Great Things Epstein Taught Me About Getting Into…
SPARKS BRIEF: Becoming Trans-National – HumorOutcasts.com
Washington, D.C. – June is LGBTQ Pride Month, and it’s highlighted by parades and celebrations around the country. In a month where love and acceptance is the theme, there is a stark contrast in our nation’s capital, where the policies of the Trump Administration seek to eradicate the marginalized transgender community. As the president demonizes…
Publishers Call Time Out on Young Writer in Brooklyn Fiction – HumorOutcasts.com
NEW YORK. In a sign that even the world of belle-lettres is not immune to the wave of xenophobia that is sweeping the nation, the Association of American Publishers today called for a “time-out” on submission of fiction by and about young writers living in Brooklyn, saying they can no longer handle the crush of…
Trump Jokes – HumorOutcasts.com
1.How do you get a Trump off the toilet? Yell to him/her that the touch of human skin corrodes gold seats. 2.Why do Trump cards sell less than baseball cards? Because baseball players actually DO something to earn their living. 3.Why does Melania avoid her husband? Between the body B.O. and the verbal…
“Wings for Babes” Latest Entrant in Charity Flight Sector – HumorOutcasts.com
CHILLICOTHE, Ohio. At Archie Griffin Airport here the waiting room is crowded with sick children waiting to board private planes that will take them to hospitals across the nation for treatment of debilitating diseases, so Kimberli Jonas, a twenty-something restaurant hostess, looks out of place. "Where do the calories from Diet Coke go?" “Do…
For Victims of Post-Ice Cream Truck Syndrome, Silence is Golden – HumorOutcasts.com
LEE’S SUMMIT, Mo. Jim Hutchinson would prefer it if you set your cell phone on vibrate and kept your handheld device on mute. He doesn’t like car horns, and when he goes to work every morning in Kansas City, he takes the stairs rather than hear the bell tones that signal when an elevator has…
As Scandals Mount, Beer ‘n Burger Bar Cuts Ties to Harvard – HumorOutcasts.com
BOSTON. First came widespread incidents of anti-Semitism on its campus. Next, former President Claudine Gay's disastrous testimony to Congress that advocating genocide of Jews might not violate Harvard policies "depending on the context." But the last straw, according to Bob Skultz, owner of The Harvard Lounge, a bar in Boston, was the revelation that $1…
My Grumpy Mother Nature Song – HumorOutcasts.com
Is it just me, or has Mother Nature been, this year ... grouchy? Surly? Cross? Cantankerous? Yeah, I thought so, too. Maybe we brought it on ourselves, the way everyone has been storming at each other. That makes this a perfect time for a ... song. Hey, we all need a peaceful moment. It's been…
At Memorial Service, Employees Learn Too Much About Late Colleague – HumorOutcasts.com
NEEDHAM, Mass. When United Blogtronics employee Chuck Blednarski passed away last weekend following a life-long struggle with Osgood Schlatter's Disease, his co-workers were genuinely saddened despite the fact that they knew very little about the quiet, unassuming man who had serviced the company's photocopiers and printers for seven years. Chuck, doing what he did best.…
Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/30/25 – HumorOutcasts.com
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about Moody’s downgrading US credit, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads…
My Dark Horse Run for the Bad Sex in Fiction Award – HumorOutcasts.com
It’s hard out there–to coin a phrase–for a guy who’d like to quit his day job and write. You look for any advantage you can get. A few weeks ago I read about a guy two towns over from me whose first collection of short stories received a glowing, full-page review in The New York…
Writer’s Block? Get Nacreous – HumorOutcasts.com
If you’re a writer, or if you want to be a writer, you’ve probably suffered from writer’s block. Consider Henry Roth, to take just one famous example. In 1934, when he was 28, Roth’s novel Call It Sleep was published. It didn’t do well, and after he abandoned a second novel, Roth gave up writing…
Laundry Wars – HumorOutcasts.com
If you’ve been married for more than six weeks, sooner or later you’ll face one of the most contentious challenges a couple must confront: deciding on the proper way to do laundry. While both men and women technically possess the physical capability to perform this task, their approaches are as different as fine chardonnay and…
Jack Garner, Parsley Farmer – HumorOutcasts.com
Jack Garner gazed out over the farm that had been in his family for three generations and let out a sigh of exasperation. He looked down the rows of curly leaf parsley, often used as a garnish, and thought back to the lessons he had learned bouncing on his father’s lap as their old tractor…
The Ten Commandments As Interpreted By Netanyahu Himself – HumorOutcasts.com
1st Commandment- Thou shalt not have any other gods before me. Netanyahu’s interpretation- Do not have any other gods before me. But remember that I support anything Netanyahu does to get rid of the Paestians that I created. – 2nd Commandment- Honor your parents. Netanyahu- But remember that what I say trumps anything they say!…
Harvard Defies Government Order to Close All of its Restrooms – HumorOutcasts.com
The bowels and bladders of the Harvard community have become the latest target in Donald J. Trump's war against higher education. On Friday, Education Secretary Linda McMahon declared that "Harvard must immediately shut down every restroom on its campus. We know for a fact that these facilities are being used to hide over 1500 foreign…
Freedonians Resist Influx of Ruritanians – HumorOutcasts.com
FREEDONIA, New York. The first time 11-year-old Zleena Dzkbzi heard the term "Ru-Ros," shouted after him as he passed a gang of tough Freedonian boys on his way home from school, his mother told him it was a catch phrase from the Scooby-Doo cartoon series. "It is compliment," Elenia Dzkbzi said to him. "Like us,…
The Last Baseball Game – HumorOutcasts.com
Don’t come ’round here looking for the fresh, clean, family-friendly content this site is known for this afternoon. I’m taking off at 3:30 to watch my kid pitch what may be the final start of his high school career. He will take the mound today with a 3-0 record and three home runs last week…
Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/23/25 – HumorOutcasts.com
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about Weight Watchers going belly up, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little…
Me and Pope Leo X – HumorOutcasts.com
I hoff ta loff, as we say up New England way, at all the papal fanboys and girls going gaga over Pope Leo XIV. Where were they way back when, I ask, when I first got into Pope Leo Ten? I got "hep" to Leo X--or "Leo Decimus" to his friends--in an unsystematic way. I…
How to Talk to Your Cats About Drugs – HumorOutcasts.com
If you have cats and they’re anything like mine, they’re apolitical. Mine are outdoor cats and get plenty of exercise, so they’re not fat cats. A check of the records at our state Office of Campaign Finance revealed that neither made any political contributions during the last election cycle. That’s why I was surprised this…