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A man is transporting a coffin when his car breaks down... | Jokes of the day (63935)
[63935] A man is transporting a coffin when his car breaks down. He pulls over and after messing about with the engine trying to fix it, covering himself in oils and grime, he calls for a mechanic, they tell him they can come in just under an hour to asses the situation. Dismayed, he also ca
A Pygmy with a club | Jokes of the day (63933)
[63933] An adventurer travels through the jungle and is suddenly confronted by an unusual sight: fallen trees and trampled vegetation as if something gigantic has forced its way through. He decides to investigate. After walking for a few minutes, he sees a dead elephant lying on its side and a p
Joke for Friday, 17 May 2024 from site A joke a day - Do You Play Hockey or Soccer?
[63932] While giving a physical the doctor noticed that his patient’s shins were covered with dark bruises.“Tell me,” said the doctor, “do you play hockey or soccer?”“Neither,” said the man. “My wife and I play bridge.” - Joke for Friday, 17 May 2024 from site A joke
The Englishman | Jokes of the day (63931)
[63931] A British gentleman in the late 1800's was born to a poor family but through grit and determination begged, borrowed and stole his way to financial success. Always obsessed with climbing the social ladder he even courted then married a woman from a rich family. Through her family he was able
Three men are talking about their skydiving experiences... | Jokes of the day (63929)
[63929] Three men are talking about their skydiving experiences at a bar and how their parachute failed until the last possible moments. The first man starts describing his story, “well i jumped from 5,000ft and was supposed to pull my parachute at 2,500ft but when I did, nothing happened. I t
Joke for Wednesday, 15 May 2024 from site A joke a day - Debt Free
[63928] I am overjoyed! Soon I will be able to payoff all my loans and at last be debt free.I'm on my way to the bank, thrilled to know that in a very short while I will finally have all the money I need to begin enjoying life for once.I am so excited I can hardly get my ski mask on!&
Translated joke... Hope I'm able to do it justice! | Jokes of the day (63927)
[63927] Translated joke... Hope I'm able to do it justice! A not-so-bright man is talking to his friend, and the friend asks him, How many pancakes can you eat on an empty stomach?. The man thinks, and says 4. The friend says, you can only eat one!. Confused, the man asks his friend to exp
Joke for Tuesday, 14 May 2024 from site Reddit Jokes: Get Your Funny On! - Guy dies and finds himself standing in front of Satan...
[63926] Guy dies and finds himself standing in front of Satan. He says, Oh no, am I... Satan says, Yes, you are. But it's not as bad as you think. Let me give you the tour. Guy looks around and sees that they are in a grassy field with rolling hills, chirping birds, bunny rabbits
Joke for Monday, 13 May 2024 from site Reddit Jokes: Get Your Funny On! - A woman is sitting at her recently deceased...
[63924] A woman is sitting at her recently deceased husband’s funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, “Do you mind if I say a word? “No, go right ahead”, the woman replies. The man stands, clears his throat, says “Plethora”, and sits back down. “Thanks”, the woman say
My Hearing | Jokes of the day (63925)
[63925] After completing his annual physical on a patient, the doctor asked if there was anything that was bothering him. Joe replied, "Yeah, my hearing."The doctor examined Joe's ear and removed some ear wax. He then asked Joe if his hearing was better.Joe said, "I don
When We Were Kids | Jokes of the day (63923)
[63923] It was different when we were kids.In second grade, a teacher came in and gave us all a lecture about not smoking, and then they sent us over to arts and crafts...To make ashtrays for Mother's Day. - Joke for Sunday, 12 May 2024 from site A joke a day
Joke for Sunday, 12 May 2024 from site Jokes of The Day - A guy from the New York City was cruising...
[63922] A guy from the New York City was cruising at high speed down a Georgia back road he crested a hill and hit 2 hitchhiking hippies. One flew 50 feet off the road and into a field, the other smashed through the windshield ending up in the back seat. The sheriff showed up and the very nervou
A small family of three booked a flight to Kansas | Jokes of the day (63919)
[63919] They arrived at the airport several hours early. As he was only four years old and this was his first experience with this sort of thing, the son was constantly wandering off. Several times, the father had to chase him down, pick him up, and haul him back to their seats at the flight gat
Joke for Thursday, 09 May 2024 from site Reddit Jokes: Get Your Funny On! - Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro rol...
[63918] Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro roll up to an Irish border checkpoint. Paddy, the officer, halts them and sternly declares, It's illegal to cram five people into a Quattro. 'Quattro' means four. The Englishman, incredulous, retorts, Quattro is just the name of the car! Check the p
Joke for Wednesday, 08 May 2024 from site Reddit Jokes: Get Your Funny On! - Use this one yourself
[63916] 3 top surgeons are sitting in a bar in _fill_in_your_city_. One triumphantly says: “man, I still can’t believe it. Today a man came into the hospital ER with his hand completely cut off and we were able to put it all back together and his hand is ful
Joke for Tuesday, 07 May 2024 from site A joke a day - Fractured Dictionary, Part II
[63914] Baloney \\ba-lo’-ne\\: Where some hemlines fall.Banquet \\bang’-kwit\\: Why the vocalist had no instrumentalists.Bernadette \\burn’-a-det\\: The act of torching a mortgage.Boomerang \\boo’-me-rang\\: What’s on top of the Ghost Cream Pie. - Joke for Tuesday, 0
Joke for Wednesday, 24 April 2024 from site A joke a day - Ham Dinner
[63904] My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next table discussing their bill."Well Mary," said the man, "Near as I can figure, based of the price of the ham dinner you just ate, we got a hog back on the farm that's worth at leas
Joke for Monday, 29 April 2024 from site A joke a day - We Need A Doctor
[63908] A girl was walking on the side walk. She sees a man lying on the street, needing immediate help. The victim says that he is having a heart attack. The girl asks people around the street. And a man approached. Girl: Help, are you a doctor? Man: I am a doctor. What’s going on?
Joke for Sunday, 14 April 2024 from site A joke a day - Like Father Like Son
[63898] Miser to son: "Son, how much did it cost when you took your girlfriend to dinner yesterday?"Son: "Dad, it was only $25.00."Dad: "Oh, that’s not too bad."Son: "It would've been more, but that was all the money she had on her."
Banking in Switzerland | Jokes of the day (63899)
[63899] An American enters a Swiss bank with a giant, heavy sack in each of his hands. He goes to the teller, brings his face close to the glass and whispers, "I have two million dollars with me. I urgently need to open a secret Swiss bank account!"The Swiss bank teller replies in a
Joke for Tuesday, 16 April 2024 from site A joke a day - He Doesn't Know the Meaning
[63900] A football coached was asked about his star lineman. The coach replied, "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I have seen his grades and there are a lot of words he doesn't know the meaning of!" - Joke for Tuesday, 16 April 2024 from site A
Joke for Saturday, 20 April 2024 from site A joke a day - Boy I'm Glad To See You
[63902] A hunter lost his bearings and wandered around the forest in a daze. Suddenly, he spotted another man. Dropping his rifle, he threw his arms around the other's neck and screamed, "Boy am I glad to see you! I've been lost in these woods for three days!""Restrain
Joke for Saturday, 27 April 2024 from site A joke a day - I've Got One of Them
[63906] A rookie was calling up his station on his pocket radio.“I’m outside the Plaza Mall,” he reported. “A man has been robbed. I’ve got one of them.”“Which one?” asked the operator.“The one that was robbed.” - Joke for Saturday, 27 April 2024 from site A jo
Joke for Saturday, 06 April 2024 from site Belief net - An Atheist's Holiday
[63892] An atheist became incensed over Christmas holiday preparations. He filed a lawsuit about the constant celebrations given to Christians and Jews while atheists had no holiday to celebrate. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long, passionate presentation by the atheist