By Jessica Li Relieve yourself in the restrooms during any class period of the day, and there is a non-zero chance of eavesdropping on two girls in the neighboring stall complaining about their boyfriends. “He doesn’t understand why I’m angry that he can’t take anything seriously,” one of them might say. “I can’t tell if he really cares about me.” “You should dump him,” her friend suggests. A similar ideology can be found during the first ten seconds of scrolling through Tiktok or Instagram, a

The Milking Cat

28.11.2023

Election 2024

By Alexander Chun Two greased-up men circle each other in the ring, eyes locked, waiting for the other to make the first move. The roar of the crowd fills the stadium with a thunderous commotion unmatched by any other event. The bright white spotlights sweep through the crowd and come to rest on the two men in the ring. On the right stands the imposing Donald J Trump, the ultra-heavyweight champion, who weighs in at a whopping 267 pounds. On the left stands his opponent, Sleepy Joe, weighing in

The Milking Cat

02.12.2023

In Defens of Autocroet

By Ben Fogler For far too long, we’ve been staunch haters of something designed only to help us. Daily, autocorrect is slandered. Insulted. Defamed. And honestly, for what? People make mistakes. It’s a fact of life. Sometimes when I’m not paying attention I put empty boxes of cereal back on the counter. Many older siblings will argue that their parents made a mistake having more children. And every person who has ever used a keyboard has made a “typo.” What is a typo? It’s a mistake. A mistake

The Milking Cat

02.12.2023

The 10 Plagues of Egypt: High School Edition

By Sarah Parmet On the first day, the time of the month struck everyone. Including the boys. A mass panic ensued, and school was quickly shut down within the first eight minutes and thirty-six seconds of class. On the second day, a flurry of wasps were released upon the Quad. Anyone eating chicken or wearing anything other than monogram colors was violently harassed. As one of the unlucky few who was eating a Chinese chicken salad and wearing light purple, I was mistaken for a flower and had to

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Finding Love: the Queer and Correct Method

Election 2024

In Defens of Autocroet

The 10 Plagues of Egypt: High School Edition

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